By Alberto Nyakundi Amenya aka Banana Peddler
Dear H.E. Dr. William Ruto,
Now that you have bagged one Member of Parliament, it is official you will fly the UDA flag. It is also official that you’ll be facing ODM’s permanent Presidential candidate Raila Odinga who will be trying his luck for a record 5th time. As aforementioned by political prophets like myself, your win will drive the last nail on Raila Odinga’s political coffin and lower it into his grave for his permanent rest.
Sir, remember it is now time to raise your campaign funds. I want to assure you that you will get my donation. I also want to assure your opponents that they will get my donation too.
Having run as President Uhuru Kenyatta’s running mate twice and won both elections, you ought to have understood well how elections are conducted and won. You must have also realized, as I have, that it is impossible for a person of integrity like yourself to scale all the hurdles placed in his way and win the Presidency. Sir, remember the funds used to maintain political parties like ODM, bankroll primaries and the campaigns are by no means clean.
Daktari, as you prepare to take over from President Uhuru, we all know your best credential is that you are corruption fighter. Remember your government will be judged mainly by the way it’ll tackle this monster.
I understand the obstacles are mountainous because the perpetrators of corruption have cleverly made laws and created weak institutions that are always in conflict anti-corruption in all facets. But you can still do something to clear the web the webs of deceits and untangle the chords of confusion that have been weaved over the years by the so called deep state. As the late Nelson Mandela said, it always seems impossible until it is done.
My good boss, I want to reassure you that 2022 offers the sunniest chance for you to win. For you to get there, there are a few things you need to do. Assure your character assassins and all the thieves in Uhuru’s government including the Covid billionaires like Murathe that they won’t be probed when you take over. Forgive them from the depth of your heart. Mdosi, in your twilight days on earth, you must forgive all.
My Excellency Sir, since we live in a country where nobody can trace how our commonwealth was/is stolen because of lack of accurate records to rely on, ensure to appeal to the looters to invest their loot here at home so as to create jobs for hustlers. Don’t look at the rear mirror. Kenya can still be rescued.
Remember you have millions of admirers across the country and even in opposing camps who are afraid of publicly drenching you with their love and support for fear of reprisals. But when the right time comes they will rise their standards with their votes.
Tribal sentiments do not move many of us because we know they are hollow gimmicks employed by dishonest politicians who don’t worship God, but their tribes. But Kenya is still far behind. So pay attention to such tribal formations. Be careful when choosing your running mate. Asked, I would ask you to get your alter ego (if possible a woman) from Mt. Kenya region. I would have preferred if you did a single time just like Mandela and groom your successor, but my arithmetic shows me you will be too young to retire.
Although they say “a watched pot never boils,” your victory in 2022 will serve as a compensation to the humiliation you’ve been put through by your character assailants. You have an ample opportunity to defeat Raila Odinga by a huge margin in a free, fair and credible election. All you and your party UDA need to do is give IEBC a close marking.
Around this time next year, start by picking no fewer than 40,883 trusted people that will man all the polling stations across the country.
Ensure you supply with a Smart Phone and can be traced. Place them on a salary. IEBC must not be allowed to recruit the ad hoc staff on its own. Since it won’t get them from heaven, you must insist that parties provide most of the needed staff. Before the polls, ensure that IEBC makes available authentic voter register in each polling station. Ensure your agent make copies for the records so that any variations on election day will be detected and tackled.
All the best Sir, may God guide and protect you as you perform your last duty to your country.
(The writer is the Interim Tangatanga Director of Communications)