By Nyamwange Ombuna
There are four types of families. Each has its pros and cons. The types are as follows;
1. High Conversation High Conformity – in this family people talk a lot and discuss near everything openly. They then proceed to implement(conform) what they all agree.
2. High Conversation Low Conformity – in this type of family people engage each other a lot, but after that each chooses what to do. None has obligation to conform to what was discussed.
3. Low Conversation High Conformity – this kind of families are formed by dictatorial breadwinners. They don’t talk a lot, but their orders are statutory in anything a family member says. For instance, a father who tells his daughter who to marry and who not to, and the daughter must conform.
4. Low Conversation Low Conformity – this works well where the family is broken down. Members do not talk much, and none conforms to the expectations of anyone. Each exists in his or her own world.
An ideal family, in my view should be 1, but 2 is also good since it allows democracy and independent decision making. Option 3 is for dictators and mostly a bad one. The authority figure imposes own views and decisions on others. For instance, a father who decides without consulting where to live, where kids should study, who they should engage, who they should marry etc.
The 4th option as noted exists where the family structure is already beyond repair. Most family members do not even engage each other. When calls such as family gathering are made, most members do not even respond.
This conversation came up when I was engaging someone and to assist explain how family members relate, I explained this model. She correctly identified her family as Option 2, and that explains why it is an intact family that engages each other in regular basis. Remember in high conversations, democracy and respect for others decision must exist if it has to continue being high Conversation. If dictorial tendencies show in high Conversations families, victims stop communicating hence creating a Low Conversation Low Conformity family.