“OOJr , give us in germane details what happened in Parliament this morning?”
The gallant Homabay women rep and ODM giant comrade Hon Gladys Wanga arrived in the hallowed chambers of Parliament to be ambushed by a Jubilee terrorist wannabe pirating himself as Tigania East MP Hon Mpuri Aburi.
Unbeknown to Hon Mpuri, Gladys has a black belt and can use one hand to fight 17 men of Aburi’s caliber. Hon Gladys also has has Judo skills and can just catch Aburi like a poorly prepared idiot and throw him down the way John Cena did to Edge. She is also blessed with arms that can land a thunderous paralyzing slap on the cheeks of an opponent.
So Hon Mpuri throws the 1st punch, Hon Wanga dodges. He throws a second poor punch traveling at 1km/hr-which landed on Wanga’s chest…and the 3rd which lands on Wanga’s stomach. It’s at this point that Mpuri discovered what the donkey saw in the BUR BALA. Hon Wanga arrested (kamatia chini) Hon Mpuri Aburi with one arm, slapped him thunderously with the other, then caught his balls & squeezed them for 3000 seconds, then threw him down like a sack of charcoal, before the ODM brigade landed on Aburi like a swarm of wicked bees.
He was panel beaten like those sufurias in kamkunji—including his ears,teeth,tongue and toes. When he woke up 65 minutes later, he asked his Jubilee comrade “is my nose there…is my eyes there…is my mouth and stomach there…did any airplane enter my ears”…As Wanga was leaving, Moses Kuria saw her and ran away screaming “mimi sina shida na wewe boss”
LATEST UPDATE: Hon Mpuri seeks medical attention in Germany following injuries suffered after a fight with Hon Gladys Wanga.
I interrupt my Christmastide to cheer the death of Hon. Aburi’s third leg. News reaching my desk is that he has been flown to unknown destination as a medical tourist, where doctors will frantically work overnight to fruitlessly try to resurrect blood flow in the little John which died successfully. According to renowned medical experts, Aburi’s case is now an incurable fait accompli, his condition is beyond medical science.
He is now a confirmed Eunuch. However, there is still hope in urology, where his organ can be changed into a female organ complete with a ‘hairport’ where planes can land and take off. I salute the Homabay ODM giant who throttled Aburi’s little John into paralysis. I told you if you want to eat a frog, choose a fat one, and Aburi is now a man eating his frog in pieces. In my luo we say “kaipuro njugu, to njuki emaimuodo”, Aburi next time don’t try to touch the anus of a leopard with your finger, you see now!!!!