By Gordon Opiyo
Fathers Building Allies
If there is a group of people that really suffer, it is men over 60.
In my life I have seen many go down in loneliness. I have seen many die lonely deaths.
I always point out that many failed to build political Allies at Home.
If you look at the Account in 1 Kings 1 about the succession battle for king David’s throne, you see his eldest son Adonijah opening up a war front. He built Allies with nearly everyone, including the Priests, David wives, and most of his Children.
David having been a consummate politician knew this would happen, especially after the Absalom coup attempt.
He secretly formed another group of Allies, and used Prophet Nathan, Zadok the Priest and Benaiah to enthrone his choice, Solomon.
David, anticipated this and created systems. Many men over 60 Never did that.
I’m sure many of you read the story of former Alego MP Otieno mak Onyango, who was living in Squalor – I guess in Ngong Town. Yet, he had several well educated children, many in the United States.
I used , and still frequent some cyber in Argho House, near Development House. One of the frequent visitors was Prof Ouma Muga ( the renowned Academic who established Moi University School of Environment, and got global awards on research about Ozone Layer) and became a leading Politician) the late. He cut a lonely poor figure. He loved reading, and the owner of the popular Cyber in third floor allowed him to use the facility free. I googled about his family once, after having a chat with him, and discovered that he had a child in Australia, another one a Lecturer in a top local university and another very senior in UN….but their Dad had to rely on free cyber services in Argho House, and donations of fare to go back to his slum home. You can google both cases just to confirm.
So, what happens?
When Men provide, and in their prime, they get engrossed in their careers. They then spend a good part of their time entertaining themselves with buddies in bars and other hobbies.
They spend very little time with children. Many times, they oppress their wives, and many times, they have mipango wa Kando, some who terrorise the wives. This, naturally will see the children being Allies to the Mothers.
By the time you retire, or grow old, you suddenly discover that you are all Alone. Pekee yako. You are a stranger to your children, and your wife does what most women do when you grow weak, vulnerable – and she has a grudge.. She abandons you.
My message to men today is this: in anything you do, make sure you make time for your children. Develop a tight bond. Have Allies in your family. So that in case your wife turns your children against you…you can count on your Allies.
Don’t work hard, providing, taking your Children to best schools, and Universities abroad, yet you have No relationship with them.
They will leave you struggling in slums in your old age. Or in complete loneliness in your mansion..
Prepare for any eventuality in your old age. Be wise like king David.