By Jerome Ogola via fb
The beef-eaters who made exemplary contributions to humanity were awarded at Nyayo Stadium yesterday, by one of their own, the son of Ichaweri.
We also take this opportunity to present Hoof-Eater Aawards to the sons and daughters of this country who went a step further to engage in acts we consider outstanding to humanity
1. The Meru man who frisked a traffic cop and took off with the folded currency notes the cop had made in a day’s collection
2. Bera Kibet, the JKUAT student who was caught scaling the State House perimeter, on a mission to give the tenant of the premises a free throat surgery
3. The unidentified man who stole 50 million shillings from Kipkosgei Sakaja’s bedroom in Karen
4. The Kinango Ninja who greeted Baba with a nyahunyo on his back in Kwale
5. The murang’a man, intercepted by hawk eyed security details, while advancing towards Bwana Wheelbarrow with his fists clenched, in a manner likely to suggest he was on a mission to deliver an uppercut
6. The GSU officer, who stole Moi’s golden jogoo from his bedroom in Kabarak
7. (Posthumously) The stowaway who rained from a KQ flight in London. Woth him, he only had a half filled bottle of water and a 20 bob coin
8. The man/men who kidnapped Martha Karua, while leaving Fr Wamugunda’s house at midnight, where she had gone to collect a document, rumoured to be six inches
9. The ninja who was passing by KEMSA offices only to be abducted and forcibly given a 197 million tender
10. The Meru University student who hijacked policemen and stole their police Land Cruiser
11. The Kericho man who died twice. He left the embalming table in the morgue, went to sign BBI signature books, then went back to the ward to die officially
12. Otieno from Seme, who hunted down a hyena, killed it, skinned it, roasted its penis, salted it and then ate it with ugali.
Kindly remind me of those who you feel merit a Hoof-Eater’s recognition
Great afternoon my fellow hoof eaters!!