Fellow Kenyans, since independence, it’s only under my able leadership that Kenya became 3rd most corrupt nation on earth beating hot favorites Nigeria, Algeria, Liberia and even Bulgaria; we managed to defeat historical title holders Kazakhstan, Afghanistan, Turkmenistan and Kyrgyzstan . This is no mean achievement; the unsung heroes and heroines are the tireless thieves, plunderers, kleptocrats and pickpockets in my govt.
If those ratings were done today—we would happily clinch the coveted gold medal.
Fellow Kenyans, I promised to create 500,000 jobs per year. The criminal sector grew in triple digits. We created more overnight billionaires in their hundreds more than even my father in his 17 years of rule. This was made possible through creation of scandal after scandal and expanding loopholes in IFMIS. You all know John Kago, the driver at NYS now drives a 5000 CC Range Rover beast valued at 23 Million; salonist Kabura; Waiguru; Murkomen, Farouk Kibet, Maryanne Kaitany and even P.S Muraguri who is currently building a 100 Million home in Nyeri, to mention but a few.
Central Bank proudly announced unprecedented growth in cybercrime; the country now loses about 4 billion annually. In our streets and bars, more young boys now flash mysterious cash in drinks, fancy houses and big cars. The socialite industry was nay left behind; more of our girls now have the scorching courage to post nude pictures on social media and get instant hits.
Fellow Kenyans, cattle rustling terrorists in Baringo, Marakwet, Pokot and Turkana couldn’t enjoy encumbered sail in their activities. They are now a happy lot. The market of stolen cattle’s rakes in tens of billions. For those who care to know, it’s the faceless oligarchs in Jubilee who own this giant industry and very soon their names feature in who owns Kenya.
Fellow Kenyans, with all this growth, I have no time to answer my paranoid critics who long lost objectivity especially Raila and his legion of confederates.
I strangled my step child KCC for my own baby, Brookside: We now enjoy milk diplomacy since Brookside is present in major African economies and trade blocks. Mumias is dead despite the 5 Billion we gave it. KQ is dead. Uchumi is dead. Good news is looted money is invested by our own sons and daughters here in the country. You can see 2 RIVERS MALL among many gaudy building coming up in the villages and major towns: Kenya has more malls than even tenants to rent them.
To prove we reduced poverty and expanded the middle class; the price of a 2kg Unga is expensive than the same of Chapati. Kenyans are now choosing chapatti over Ugali.
Finally, I thank all MPs we purchased from opposition using the Eurobond proceeds. I thank my relathieves for continued poaching and charcoal smuggling in Somali . My critics should look at Ruto who is currently building a 2 Billion home with a man made lake the size of a football stadium.
God Bless you, God Bless Kenya.