By Jerome Ogola via Facebook
Elections are here with us again. How do you know that an election is approaching, without looking at the calendar?
It is easy to tell. When you see a Kenyan arming himself to harm another Kenyan, who has done him no wrong, then an election is around the corner,even if not so near
When you see an obese, with his shirt butons struggling to hold together his bulging stomach, ride on a motorbike, then it is Bwana Mheshimiwa
He has parked his 20 million SUV a kilometer away, to demonstrate to you how poor he is, because he knows too well that despite stretching their palms for handouts, Kenyans love their candidate poor, meaning they want a very poor man, who is also very rich
Many more such madness will follow. This is a mere appetizer. The gods of political madness have just began mating by the river
Let me regurgitate two episodes that’s happened in a previous similar seasons, which describe the madness of political campaigns
A senatorial aspirant known for generosity, drove into Soy Country Club, to meet a delegation of youth, from the region. He had a brief meeting with the less than ten young men
He talked to them in the only they understand, which is to give them money. He then requested to leave, because he had to meet another group of youth at the Soy Highway Motel, a kilometer away, near the road to Likuyani
He excused himself and left, driven through the main gate, in his brand new Range Rover Vogue
The young men heard him loud and clear. They left by the back door and hit the tamarc running. They overtook Bwana Mheshimiwa in his Range Rover and arrived at the new venue before him. A hungry man runs faster than a Range Rover
By the time he arrived, the youth were already seated waiting for his arrival. He addressed them, by giving them money. He told them he had just met another group of youth at Soy Club. He never knew it was the same people, because to a rich man, all the poor men look alike, after all they are mere votes and nothing more
In the second episode, another aspirant, who had just addressed a group of bodaboda, asked who among them was to be given the money that mandatory listening allowances, the same that a politician must pay after talking to anyone
They chose my good friend King Kong, because being, slightly physically challenged, they knew their money was safe, as the man can’t run. Once he was given the money, King Kong ordered them to sit down, so that he can count and distribute the money to then
The fools sat down. King Kong took off at a speed of Usain Bolt, disappearing into the darkness with the money, and attempts to give a chase proved fruitless
So campaign money, and not even prophet Owuor miracles, can make a disabled run!