By Dorcas S
Relationship experts are all over social media inundating our walls on the suitability or otherwise of marriage partners. We are told a lady should marry a man within her age bracket to find lasting happiness.
Growing old together is, in most cases an illusion. What guarantee do you have that your marriage will last beyond the first anniversary? The fact that you are age mates does not mean that you will age together. Chances are the woman will be over the hill and her man as strong as a mule! A wife in her fifties will be fat, wrinkled and flabby, bored with life and resigned to a monotonous routine of child rearing. A man, on the other hand, will probably be a CEO, with a beautiful Secretary at his beck and call. She will probably be half his age but not averse to his charms, money and power!.
Emmy Kosgey has been criticised, battered and called unsavoury names for marrying a sixty something year old widower, a Pastor with adult children. Her tormentors opine that she married for money and not love. I want to beseech her detractors to give her a break! She is the one who knows what she saw in the Nigerian Pastor. The problem with Kenyans is that we pretend to know what is best for other people. We want to box them into a space and expect them to conform to our way of thinking and reasoning. If they don’t we are quick to judge and demonize them without first seeking to understand them.
If she is happy with her Nigerian husband, who are we to criticise her? Let her be. It is the shoe wearer who knows where it pinches most! She most probably opted for stability, security, experience. At his age the husband has been there, seen it, done it! When other women spend sleepless nights, worrying where their husbands are, and with whom, Emmy has no such worries. She spends warm, cuddly nights with her man!
And it is not for lack of alternatives. It is rumoured that she was seeing a young and famous media personality. She would have stuck with him but she preferred the old man. After all young men are restless, jumpy, undecided and full of negative energy. They fear commitment and are only interested in short term relationships. They run at the slightest instigation, are irresponsible and dodgy. Like wine, men get better with age. They become gentler, wiser, more responsible and more loving.
An old man will treat a woman like royalty. He knows the right buttons to press, what to say to make his woman feel good, how to pamper her and make her feel special, valued and indispensable. Young men have no time for all these niceties. They are brash, unrefined and reckless. Wooing is an art that the old man has mastered. Young men want to take a woman to bed on the first date! They then drop her like hot potatoes and go after their next victim. Loyalty is alien to them. Honesty is non existent in their limited vocabulary.