By KT mole
After the discovery of mineral water in Turkana which scientists say can quench the thirst of this country’s 40 million plus Somali refugees plus all those international tax evaders living in Nairobi’s leafy suburbs, a group of Mt Kenya Mps secretly met yesterday afternoon to discuss the old rumour that the sacred mountain may be holding the world’s largest gold deposits yet to be discovered.
The Mps who met in an exclusive Nairobi hotel off Thika Superhighway are said to have been concerned that no major mining is going in Central Kenya, yet all indications are that Mt. Kenya ( Mt. Kirinyaga) may hold the world’s most precious resource – GOLD – and in large quantities.
According to the source, the legislators now want President Uhuru Kenyatta to commission a team of experts from Chuka University College, a constituent college of Jomo Kenyatta University of Agriculture and Technology, and Mt. Kenya University, to undertake reconnaissance tours to the mountain to ascertain the veracity of the age-old fable.
“Mumbi never lies. Our land is blessed. She could not have perched this mountain here if it had no minerals. . .we have gold,” an Mp from the region was overhead saying. Wow! It may be true.
Asked for comment by this writer, a colleague from Nyanza confirmed that his Central Kenya housemates were indeed holed up in a ‘strategy meeting’, but laughed at the idea that they could waste a whole afternoon discussing the truth in a traditional story of the Agikuyu people.
“It is like we in Nyanza telling the government to send us the Kenya Navy to L. Victoria to go reclaim the cattle of Nyamgondho’s wife,” hissed the lakeside lawmaker. To those bereft in this Luo fable, Nyamgondho Wuo Ombare (the son of Ombare) is a Luo legend where a man lost all his wealth after mistreating his wife. The wife decided to go drown in Lake victoria withall. Anyway, this is a story for another day.
At the root of this new agitation is the second discovery of another mineral (water) in Turkana County. So shocked were the Mt Kenya Mps that they decided no more mineral exercussion should be undertaken before the Mt Kenya results are out.
“Other regions are discovering new wealth yet we are stuck with coffee and tea. . .our people are being laughed at that we do not have minerals which is the next economic frontier for Kenya,” another Mp revealed.
But these fears are unfounded, at least according to another Mp from the region who believes the most important mineral the region needs to have is statehouse, in other words, the presidency.
“If we can control statehouse, then why all these fears? Government can do anything. We gave the Nigerians Turkana oil bila Nanok (Governor of Turkana) kujua, serikali ndio muhimu,” says this courageous one.
Keep it here for more ‘breaking news’.