By Kute O

Lakini some people watu wengine jomoko yawa. You have a bust-up with your boyfriend, you insult him and tell him his equipment is too small and that you regret ever having sex with him, and then you insult his mother by saying derogatory and vile things about her that have no comeback whatsoever. He walks out, blocks your number and you can’t reach him even after realizing how badly you screwed the pooch by going too far.

Then when you find your best friend cleaning his house a few weeks later with nothing on but her birthday suit, you start catching feelings and ask whether you should confront both of them. Confront them for what? You attack the very essence of his manhood and add insult to injury by saying things no man should ever hear about his mother and you expect that you still have a relationship?

Then there’s the ddwanzi asking the obvious “I was a kichwa maji in school but my child is very bright. Did my wife cheat on me?”. If you have to ask this question, kweli you’re a kichwa maji.

A story is told of a young man who sought his father’s counsel after suspecting his wife was cheating on him. After hearing his son’s lamentations, the father called all his three wives. He placed a stick on the ground and asked them all “If any of you has never cheated on me, cross this stick”. None of them did. He turned to his son and said, “Young man, even I cannot guarantee you’re my son, and yet here we are. Not even your mother will cross that stick”.

Moral of the story, sleeping dogs are best left the hell alone. You’ll be shocked what people – even within marriages have to do to maintain world peace.