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WIKILEAKS Donald Trump’s FIRST CIA BRIEFING, The Detailed Conversations, Trump Shocked how POWERLESS he will

WIKILEAKS Donald Trump’s FIRST CIA BRIEFING, The Detailed Conversations, Trump Shocked how POWERLESS he will

November 10, 2016 26 Comments

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Following the results of the US elections, President D.Trump yesterday received first highly classified intelligence briefings and WIKILEAKS reports of a shocked Trump.

Trump was shocked that USA Presidency is highly controlled and just celemonial, in reality the president is a spokesman of the system that controls USA and the world.

First briefing by the CIA, Pentagon, FBI:

Trump: We must destroy ISIS immediately. No delays.

CIA: We cannot do that, sir. We created them along with Turkey, Saudi, Qatar and others.

Trump: The Democrats created them.

CIA: We created ISIS, sir. You need them or else you would lose funding from the natural gas lobby.

Trump: Stop funding Pakistan. Let India deal with them.

CIA: We can’t do that.

Trump: Why is that?

CIA: India will cut Balochistan out of Pak.

Trump: I don’t care.

CIA: India will have peace in Kashmir. They will stop buying our weapons. They will become a superpower. We have to fund Pakistan to keep India busy in Kashmir.

Trump: But you have to destroy the Taliban.

CIA: Sir, we can’t do that. We created the Taliban to keep Russia in check during the 80s. Now they are keeping Pakistan busy and away from their nukes.

Trump: We have to destroy terror sponsoring regimes in the Middle East. Let us start with the Saudis.

Pentagon: Sir, we can’t do that. We created those regimes because we wanted their oil. We can’t have democracy there, otherwise their people will get that oil – and we cannot let their people own it.

Trump: Then, let us invade Iran.

Pentagon: We cannot do that either, sir.

Trump: Why not?

CIA: We are talking to them, sir.

Trump: What? Why?

CIA: We want our Stealth Drones back. If we attack them, Russia will obliterate us as they did to our buddy ISIS in Syria. Besides we need Iran to keep Israel in check.

Trump: Then let us invade Iraq again.

CIA: Sir, our friends (ISIS) are already occupying 1/3rd of Iraq.

Trump: Why not the whole of Iraq?

CIA: We need the Shi’ite govt of Iraq to keep ISIS in check.

Trump: I am banning Muslims from entering US.

FBI: We can’t do that.

Trump: Why not?

FBI: Then our own population will become fearless.

Trump: I am deporting all illegal immigrants to south of the border.

Border patrol: You can’t do that, sir.

Trump: Why not?

Border patrol: If they’re gone, who will build the wall?

Trump: I am banning H1B visas.

USCIS: You cannot do that.

Trump: Why?

Chief of Staff: If you do so, we’ll have to outsource White House operations to Bangalore. Which is in India.

Trump (sweating profusely by now): What the hell should I do as President???

CIA: Enjoy the White House, sir! We will take care of the rest!

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Filed Under: Global, Gossip

Comments

  1. Anonymous says

    November 10, 2016 at 9:39 am

    copy and paste

    Reply Report comment
  2. okuyu says

    November 10, 2016 at 10:00 am

    empty-minded, half-baked journalists. The US president does not even discuss such matters with the CIA. Poor attempt at what is just a stale joke.

    Reply Report comment
    • Anonymous says

      November 10, 2016 at 10:53 am

      We are not fools …….do always spark what is not the fact to the worldwide…buy a good cable to plugs out Donald’s power to all universe…

      Reply Report comment
    • Marwa says

      November 10, 2016 at 10:11 pm

      So what do they discuss if you may enlighten us?

      Reply Report comment
  3. REAL MGIRIAMA HALISI says

    November 10, 2016 at 10:42 am

    This is the reason I always say that RAILA can not be a president of the kenyan government. A government is a complex thing which a closed mind person like raila and his supporters will never understand. Presidency is just an office in the government and Raila thinks being a president you are everything which is very very wrong and a thought of a fool like him. He threatens everybody in the complex system another reason that he can never head that system. All cord supporters should now know that a president is just an employee of the government in a complex system that one can not change it easily as they portray it.

    Reply Report comment
    • Kenan says

      November 11, 2016 at 5:01 am

      Now where did Raila come from.Nkt.

      Reply Report comment
    • Mike kimani says

      January 13, 2017 at 10:46 pm

      Men F********you because you are an idiot who is brainwashed and shallow minded “everything raila raila raila raila” why don’t just give out ideas instead of telling us a lot of your sh**************t

      Reply Report comment
  4. Jakano says

    November 10, 2016 at 10:46 am

    Uhuru: why can’t we jail Waiguru,ngilu, kabura

    NSIS:they are the caretakers of the mafia that made you president.

    Reply Report comment
    • Nyundo says

      November 10, 2016 at 4:32 pm

      You are great!

      Reply Report comment
  5. bee says

    November 10, 2016 at 10:57 am

    Seriously!

    Reply Report comment
  6. Anonymous says

    November 10, 2016 at 12:00 pm

    I don’t like this, it makes no sense

    Reply Report comment
  7. Laikipia says

    November 10, 2016 at 12:22 pm

    Luo Minded journalism. sasa wewe the farthest you have gone ni kisumu na nairobi. unatwambia nini

    Reply Report comment
  8. jack says

    November 10, 2016 at 12:41 pm

    Fools, stop fooling Kenyans,instead mukule nyama ya kuiba.

    Reply Report comment
  9. REAL DONALD TRUMP. says

    November 10, 2016 at 12:48 pm

    This joke is just a wishful thought of the writer.

    Reply Report comment
  10. Anonymous says

    November 10, 2016 at 12:51 pm

    uwongo nayo!

    Reply Report comment
  11. AAG says

    November 10, 2016 at 12:55 pm

    raila is 5th prezo of kenya

    Reply Report comment
    • Anon says

      November 10, 2016 at 8:22 pm

      Raila is the 2nd Governor of Kisumu.

      Reply Report comment
  12. stephen juma says

    November 10, 2016 at 1:20 pm

    balderdash!

    Reply Report comment
  13. Anonymous says

    November 10, 2016 at 1:56 pm

    This conversation happened in a book titled AmeZidi

    Reply Report comment
  14. Anonymous says

    November 10, 2016 at 2:38 pm

    If you say that Rao dont understand presidency,why is it that uhuru is very confused until he says his hands are tide when it comes to war on corruption,is he the same uhuru that took an oath of office to fight corruption.Now it is true that Waiguru second wife and that is why wakinyasa cant act

    Reply Report comment
  15. njeri dickstrong says

    November 11, 2016 at 2:19 am

    Trump: let’s destroy jubilee.

    CIA: we can’t do that. we need them. they are our major customers for teargas and arms to fight their citizens. if BABA becomes President there will be peace in kenia.

    Reply Report comment
  16. tababa says

    November 11, 2016 at 5:20 am

    Kwani Raila aliwafanya nini lazima mtaje everywhere,kweli Raila is an institution

    Reply Report comment
    • Jakano says

      November 11, 2016 at 11:41 am

      Kwani Raila in wenu?? Kubaff!!

      Reply Report comment
  17. Ja-Watema. says

    November 11, 2016 at 9:03 pm

    Ata ka wa2 wako nje kwan hawa wajinga mnataka Raila awe mpaka Rais wa USA ?

    Reply Report comment
  18. Dennys Msemakweli says

    November 12, 2016 at 12:19 pm

    Raila is the greatest corrupt fighter leader in kenya,given chance like Trump,he will make Kenya Great Again!

    Reply Report comment
  19. stone living stone says

    November 26, 2016 at 4:50 pm

    We need leadership that will deliver Kenyans from yokes of poverty not mere tribalism here I see people discussing nonsense suggesting that we are still far from the reality let’s not even benchmark with US with our uncouth thinking we are ever in politics even after a general election! Our leaders now take advantage on our dissuaded minds even at the County level where we have our own managing our resources busy looting us while we argue about Uhuruto and Rao bure kabisa umaskini utatumaliza tuwajibikeni

    Reply Report comment

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