By Comrade Alberto Amenya aka The Banana Pedlar
1. Invite Raila. Instruct organizers not to reserve a seat for him in the VIP section. Command them to direct the Prime Minister to junior officers’ reserve to cool his heels there.
2. When you arrive at the event, assume you did not see him and proceed straight to your seat. Let the programme go on as usual and make sure no speaker recognizes him in his speech. Ask them to give everyone a chance except Raila. Ask the DP to eschew recognizing him. In fact, let him not even mention his name.
3. As protocol dictates, you are the head of state, thusly you must speak last. When your turn comes, stand up and greet the people. Before you say anything, pretend you’ve just realized Raila is among the attendees.
4. Call him pretendedly and apologize to him and say;
“Ah! I’ve just learnt that my brother Raila is here. Bwana Prime Minister, I didn’t know you are here. I am sorry they did not factor your name among speakers. Nonetheless, you are my elder brother and politics cannot divide us. From here, we will proceed and take tea together but just before that, please come over my brother and talk to Kenyans”
5. Allow Raila to use the Presidential microphones because it’ll obviously work on your favor. You can be sure Raila will treat you with respect in his speech. Based on your gesture, he’ll never abuse the gesture. When he finishes, just fake some love and hold his hands and generate a 30 seconds confab.
6. From there, command them to reserve him a seat next to you so that by the time he drops he finishes the speech, he can go straight and sit. In fact, arrange with Mama Margaret Kenyatta to pave way for him by forfeiting her seat to him as a sign of respect because the country will be keenly following the proceedings.
My fren Uhuru Kenyatta, had you done that, nobody would have spoken about Madaraka Day. Nobody would talk about Raila’s speech. Nobody would bother talk about Raila Odinga himself. Nobody would talk about SGR nonsense.
The only name that would trend in Social and mainstream media is that of Uhuru Kenyatta. Had you done that to Joho in Mombasa, you would have denied your traducers something to talk about.
By so doing, your defenders including online keyboard Mujahideen will get good ground to defend and sell you simultaneously.
Nonetheless, since you surround yourself with unintelligent idiots and slow thinkers in the name of presidential advisors, your ratings will keep on deteriorating. Those eejits take home hefty pecks for doing the opposite of what they are paid to do.
As a result, Raila emerged victorious and much stronger. Too bad, I am just a Banana Peddler whose opinion counts not.