DAY RUTO FACED WIFE WITH UHURU’S STERN ORDER:
Ruto: [enters bedroom] thank God Rachel you are in! Mungu abarikiwe!
Rachel: [shocked] What is it?
Ruto: UK is gone safely. I’m now in charge.
Rachel: So? I think that’s what was going to happen?
Ruto: [Looking confused] Yes, he has ordered me to ensure everyone is secure and safe.
Rachel: Which is okay. You are the Deputy. So how did it go?
Ruto: [Getting more confused. Wife very clueless] He has ordered me to make sure some people don’t move everywhere all the time. . .
Rachel: [Now getting serious] What? That’s fuck*ing ludicrous. How will you do that?
Ruto: He mentioned the names so you know…that’s a very direct order. . .
Rachel: Ooh, that can work. The police will do that.
Ruto: [#@%^$&*] But some of those people the police can’t handle.
Rachel: Who are they? I think your friend is in the US?
Ruto: Not politicians but people close to politicians. In fact people close to top Jubilee politicians.
Rachel: That you can do. Issue ban on travels for top officials. No large meetings.
Ruto: [^%$#$*] Now, listen up woman. Uhuru told me to tell you to stop eer errr rrrr rrrrr . . .[sobs]
Rachel: Okay, come down. Its okay. Itsorait. come down. [calls daughter] June! June! Get everyone on the prayer room.
Rachel: [removes Bill’s tie, unbuttons shirt] I told you to stick with Raila. Now see. The bible says what does a man gain in the whole world but lose his soul. . .
Ruto: [straightens up] Okay, I have told you I don’t like you reminding me about Raila.
Rachel: [soliloquy] There we go again.
Rachel: So what did your friend say. What did he say about me?
Ruto: That you should….no….that I should tell you to stop loitering! LOITERING! [soliloquy] Imagine? UK told me with those red peppered eyes to tell my wife to stop loitering. Kwani yeye bibi yake anafanya nini Iten? Kukimbia kimbia na hiyo #[email protected]#$%^&^%$## yake!
Ruto:[ turns to Rachel] sawa tu darlin’. 2017 si mbali. ni hii siri yako ya table banking ndio inalete shida. SMH!
Rachel walks out for prayers. . .[not to be continued]