Literally giant Binyavanga Wainaina engaged and to be married to his Nigerian boyfriend in South Africa, Photo courtesy
By Albert Nyakundi Amenya aka The Banana Peddler
In the penultimate day of April, during the early hours of the morning I was seated in my living room with my mum who had visited us from the village. I was going through the newspapers, trying to catch up with our daily madness popularly known as Kenyan politics. No sooner had I turned the second page, than an old man in his late eighties showed up and started a conversation that caught me off guard and threw me off-balance.
“All this nonsense I hear and read about gays demanding for their rights in this country, is it really true that a man in his rightful mind glues himself on another man’s shithole, pretending to have sex? All these pulchritudinous girls around, where will they go? Is it is it really true that a man with functional mind can deep his bearded mouth and heavy tongue and dip it in another man’s mouth then suck each other passionately in the name of kissing? Is the government aware that such abomination is being committed in our land while our ancestors watch from their graveyards?”
A proverb says “A still tongue makes a wise head” With my mum around, I elected to keep mum. Nonetheless, any fool could tell from my countenance that I looked completely lost and discombobulated. Even though I lacked what to say, my body language gave me away by answering in the affirmative. To prove he is worthy hisonions, he drove the last nail of my coffin by adding; “What is wrong with kids of these days? Between the two men, how do you differentiate between a man and a woman? Who gets pregnant?” That was the last straw that broke the camel’s back.
As I felt the discussion becoming extremely embarrassing, I quickly asked him if he wanted to take tea or porridge. But in so doing, I unsuccessfully changed the topic. I thought I would gain some momentary reprieve by mentioning food but he remained radically insistent. I never stopped chewing over his rattling questions. To him, it was the case of “A watched pot never boils” I had no corners to cut, but face the reality. After all, there is no shortcut to maturity.
I told the old man that I didn’t really believe that gays existed in real life. I told him I thought it was one of the fairy tales we were told when we were children. I tried to digress from the topic but the old man was determined to make me grow up and face reality. He referred me to a couple of verses in the bible that made me learn that the evil had existed from prehistoric times.
Long story short, you cannot compare animals and gays. Animals are far much better than gays. Gays do not even deserve animal rights because the unimaginable things they do, animals cannot do. Personally, I have never come across anyone confessing to be gay. But I pray that day doesen’t come. A gay is a loaded gun that should not be allowed anywhere near humans. These creatures are not real human beings.
Gays should be stoned to death. They should be executed because they have no business calling themselves human beings as to deserve Human Rights. If you take exception, ask yourself why God himself destroyed Sodom and Gomorrah. Was it not because of gays? Even the Holy Book encourages marriage between a man and a woman – PLEASE. Not a man and a man. I hear there are Members of Parliament that support gay rights. I have no reason to believe what I hear. But I have no reason not to believe it either.
Although I see them only on foreign TV channels, I hear that they are many and have clubs that are exclusively for them in Nairobi. But they say if you can’t beat them, join them. If I can’t beat them, I can’t join them either. Had I the powers, I’d chase gays to the very last gate of hell. Any Member of Parliament that sponsors a bill that supports gay rights should be torn apart with his bill and recalled without any further delay.
Gays brag that that they too, were created by God in his image. May be, just maybe, God created them. We can let them live assuming they turn a new leaf. BUT, any man caught having sex with another man should be sent to jail for life. If they can’t divorce their sexual orientation, they can as well remain celibate for life.
Were it within my powers, gays would not deserve all the human rights that normal people enjoy. No they would not. In fact, granting them animal rights would be an honour because animals are more honourable than them. At least, I have not seen animals of the same sex mating.
All rights activists should go to work before gay rights activists start nursing the declaration of other rights. Incest and rape may disappear from the English dictionary. It would be all right for a man to sleep with or remarry his mother (after his father’s death). An unmarried woman would be justified to sleep with or marry her father (after her mother’s death). And how about the right to satisfy a sexual urge? Everyone would be free to enjoy his/her rights and nobody should question the sexual orientation of another. Siblings would be free to have sex. Abomination Inc!
Unless this madness called western “civilization” is cured, the world may one day witness marriages between a man and a horse, between a woman and a he-goat, and between a dog and a water mermaid. Yes, there may be no limits to human rights, animal rights and gay rights.
(The writer sells bananas in the streets of Kisii Town)