Lets Embrace Witchcraft To Curb Poaching.
By Agnes Sikuku
This piece has been rated PW.It’s about practical and wichcrafty measures.It’s therefore not recommended for people who don’t believe in witchcraft.
Witchcraft,I strongly believe,is the best way to completely eradicate poaching.
Many will say ooh it’s ungodly,others will say that it will give us a bad name out there.The rest will dismiss this practical idea.
Witchcraft is a natural resource which is underutilized.One poacher referred to as a reformed poacher,narated how he used kamote to poach for many years.This,he said,ensured that the game rangers never saw him.He therefore poached for many years while rubbing shoulders with rangers courtesy of Kamote.The lowdown of his story is that he sold the tusks at bei ya jioni.He was therefore poor.A punishment from the gods for killing elephants I guess.
What we need is a a committee that will vet all known witch doctors within our country.This should be a well kept national secret that even some mouthy citizens know nothing about.
On completion of the vetting exercise, successful witch doctors should be taken at the various Kenya wildlife service offices to do their magic.
Kws buses can transport them to avoid raising suspicion.The government should buy them suits,ties and safari boots to have an exotic look.That funny funny drawings and cuttings on their faces should be hidden.
All elephants should be brought to the witch doctors who will use several methods of protecting tusks.
For example,they can smear a deadly kamote on the tusks,which makes any poacher drop dead when he or she(do we have female poachers?) is poaching.Our wildlife will flourish with poachers dead.
Other expert witchdoctors can ensure that any poacher who has ever poached or harbours thoughts of attempting to poach eats tusks or carrys elephants to kws offices.
This poachers in collaboration with wildlife vets can see to it that elephants calf down in less that twenty two months.They should also ensure that none of the calfs die.
Since desperate situations call for desperate actions,our witch doctors can help us steal elephants and rhinos from far away lands.The way nomadic communities rustle.Like two hundred only.Our esteemed witch doctors will advice us from which country we can steal from.
This my blossom friends,relatives,real and imagined enemies is my proposal on how to conserve our endangered wildlife.
#I join the herd.
#Tusks belong to elephants.
#Worth more alive than dead.