The most difficult thing to be in Kenya is a supporter of Tinga. This is a burden not many people can carry but those who do, carry it with deep conviction and loyalty beyond this world.
As a supporter of Tinga, his wars become your wars; his enemies become your enemies; his friends become your friends and his brothers become your brothers.
If Jakom is competing with other politicians for the flag bearer of their coalition party, a true Tinga supporter must make the other politicians moles: they will see who Kalonzo spoke with; they will tell us who is the “father” of Mudavadi’s children; and we shall know how many times Wetangula was beaten by his wife. Only Jakom must stand alone, all others must be moles.
If Jakom says “Akiamka asubuhi ni pombe na Jioni ni bangi”, a loyal supporter of Jakom must look for those footages where those mentioned exhibits impaired functionalities from those things like pombe and bangi. Without caring for their own personal safety or those of their families, loyal supporters must confirm to the world that indeed those mentioned are partakes of pombe asubuhi and bangi jioni.
If Jakom says Safaricom is an agent of oppression, loyal supporters must move to another service provider; if Jakom say Brookside is not compatible with the stomach of his supporters, they must content to drinking black tea; if Jakom say bidco oil is the one Jeff Koinange uses to fry his hair, loyal supporters must resist it.
When Jakom says Waiguru is a thief, loyal supporters must produce the evidence for world to see and confirm that Baba is always right and what he sees shaking Uhuru’s hands, no other living being can see standing on KICC.
But the most difficult part of being Jakom’s supporter is having to eat your words when Jakom wakes up and decides that his former enemies are now his friends. You must now admit that those who used to drink alcohol in the morning and smoke bhang in the evening, were actually sober; the former thieves have become great stewards of our economy; murderers and killers only elected by 20% of Kenyans are now legitimate President and lovers of peace who cannot kill anyone.
That is why this morning I would like to salute you loyal and gallant supporters of Jakom, especially those who went with him to Jubilee after the handshake. It takes a lot of courage to think that Jubilee is the best government kenya ever had, especially after Jakom clearly explaining during the elections why Jubilee is an existential threat to our nation.
I hear loyal supporters have identified an enemy in their new house, Jubilee. A word of advice- walk carefully. You never know whose hands Jakom will shake next. You may find yourselves eating back those words you are saying about those whom you have found in Jubilee.
Who knew that you guys will take a detour to Uhuru’s hands?
Sisi bado tuko pale near River Jordan. Should your hosts in Jubilee send you away, you will find us there.