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HERE is a LIST of DEMANDS Uhuru should Implement while Obama is in Nairobi

July 16, 2015 Leave a Comment

By Anwar Sadat

Within the next two weeks, the most powerful man will be hosted by the “best”African president and all eyes will be on Nairobi. Consistent with the African tradition of displaying best behavior when visited by an important guest, we ask the following:

1) The President should ban Duale from opening his mouth between July 24-26, 2015. He is like that child that always says the “wrong” things with guest around.

2) Moses Kuria should be locked up in Migingo Island with enough supply of machete to clear “Lumb siany kod buya “, and boxes of 2nd generation liquor to be destroyed….. We can’t trust what his “brain” may spew out, before a CNN camera man.

3) If NYS and madam Prime Minister must do any work, we ask that they engage in humanitarian mission such as volunteering at an orphanage, and not clearing Mutaro in Kibera, or preoccupied with how the inhabitants of the Kibera dispose the end product of their metabolism system.

4) We ask that Maina Kageni and other morning radio guys, just for two days, withhold their usual broadcast of amorous escapades involving young Kenyans.

5) To our sisters who may feel the need to discipline their husbands for not coming home or performing, or lost in alcoholism,and gik makamano, we ask you to exercise utmost restraint. Stori ya muke kuta sehemu nyeti ya mumuwe can provide an embarrassing, though amusing read for Odieche.

6) To those Politicians who are salivating for CNN cameras to express their displeasure about “Akia ang’owa” marriage and gik makago, remember, Barak is the President of America, and not an arbitrator.

7) Finally, whatever is Kenyan and good should be promoted. Chai, Kenyan excellence in athletics, Kenyan beautiful coastal areas, The Safaris, etcetera

We hope nobody will is using the Visit of the American president to “Anglo-fleas” Kenyans. And Hopefully any PR from this Visit will only be to Market Kenya, and NOT any political party.

Filed Under: Opinion Tagged With: Barack Obama, Nairobi

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