JESUS SAVED ME FROM SIN
Let me tell this story before kids wake up. So a few years back I found myself at one of those pre-survey workshops.
The venue had some exotic name and was tucked in between some residential houses somewhere off Oloitoktok road.
On day one we realized that the workshop, like the Kengen and Safaricom IPOs, had been oversubscribed due to some disorganisation by a rather novice intern.
Three facilitators and I missed rooms and had to be booked at some hostel which was just three blocks from the venue of the workshop.
Because of a busy first day, we only got to the place way past 10pm. But this was not your usual hostel. This one was run by some Catholic nuns.
Every room had a Bible and sculptures of Jesus and Mary. It was not such a big deal to me having been born and bred in a Catholic family and attended Catholic school at some point.
I was used to these sculptures, singing Latin and reciting the rosary. Frazzled from a busy day, I tucked in quickly after a quick shower and was in Dreamland in a jiffy.
The following day I came back to the hostels early. There was a lounging area and here I found some foreign students who studied at Daystar University.
They were just chilling and chatting. Basically killing a pair of time and boredom simultaneously. We got talking and I realized most of them were from Rwanda, Burundi and DRC.
They were rich kids of ministers and high ranking government officials from these war torn countries. One lady from Burundi did not hide the fact that she was attracted to me.
At the time I was in a struggling relationship that needed some mouth to mouth but no one was being kind enough to volunteer. So I did not mind being kulwad Kwa macho.
We detached from the pack briefly and got through the preambles of knowing each other. It was such a bald conversation.
Neither her English or Swahili was palatable. It was like taking black tea while chewing sugarcane.
But she was beautiful…going by how much my pupils were dilating. Yet she was also very naughty. After the chitchat, I requested to go shower and sleep.
She told me that even though there were rules about no alcohol, drugs and fornication, the students had a way around them and that she would sneak into my room at some point in the night.
After a quick shower, I sat on the bed naked reading the Bible and that is when I saw both Jesus and Mary looking at me from opposite ends of the room.
I was embarrassed for the public display of nudity in the presence of mother and son. I quickly tucked in still reeling from that blushful experience.
The awkwardness was cut short when my door slid open and the Jezebel from the land of Kidum silently and surreptitiously announced her arrival.
As it is with stolen moments, time is always of the essence. The sexy siren from Nkrunzinza’s country was dressed in some very light transparent night gown.
She reminded me that we did not have much time. This meant all my meticulous seasoned foreplay skills would be underutilized (sic). It unsettled me and I lost a bit of focus.
When I looked up, Jesus with his childish-sweet eyes was staring down at me. The sculpture was right above my bed. There was this power in his eyes that was unassumable and firm.
I tried looking aside but I could feel his eyes riddling my conscience. He was getting to me and when I turned left Mary was being a good teammate to the son and they were effective.
I started losing my game. I thought about God and the good word. I thought of heaven and what my mother would think of me.
Soon my engine lost steam and I knew I was going to lose the game and this randy college girl. My Catholism had emerged triumphant.
Basically these two sculptures psychological dissuaded me from representing Kenya in a rapidly organized intercountry sex tournament. Jesus and Mary saved me from sinning that night.
If you ever meet a Burundian lady rubbishing Kenyan men, I might be the cause. She had left the room in a huff while cursing under her breath.
Today I sat somewhere next to a Burundian couple and I remembered this story of how Jesus and Mary saved me from sinning. That is my testimony brothers and sisters.