By Elijah Getui Oenga
My heart is still heavy and my mind burdened from my visit to Shimo La Tewa women’s prison, I feel like I owe someone a story.
Crimes of passion :
Most women on life sentences are serving on murder charges and almost all are crimes of passion. Many women act on the spur of the moment, when emotions are heavy, the mind goes blank and irreparable life time damage is done in minutes, anger is one letter short of danger. I know many women who have damaged lifelong relationships with their friends and family in minutes, then spend a lifetime in agony, pain and regrets.
Master your emotions my sisters, or they’ll set you in motion in a treacherous path all your life. Conquer your emotions and take charge of your destiny.
Friend’s Friend’s Friend’s
I couldn’t count how many women behind bars alluded their fate to bad friends, bad company, bad advice . Some were setup by roommates, best friends , sisters , those who finally destroy you, must know you very well. “Kikulacho ki nguoni mwako”.
Some women told me they had many friends but in prison they’ve never had visitors. When life visits misery upon you, who’ll show up for you ? For a month ? A year ? A decade ?
Who in your friends list , and phone book will be visiting you in prison for your 30 year sentence ? Anyone ? If yes, call them tomorrow and buy them coffee and remind them how much you value them.
At the slightest crack, many that today fill your mpesa sent messages will laugh at your predicament, cut off weeds and nurture strong trees that will offer you a shade when you need it most .
Who will nurture your kids for you when you gone ? Who will visit your sick mum ? Who will bail you out ?
Prison is lonely , they that filled your happy days are nowhere they scatter at the slightest sight of trouble.
Forgiveness and healing
No matter how many people have wronged you and how many times, carrying hate in your heart and soreness in your spirit is the greatest price you can pay. Anger breeds pain, pain breeds hate and hate resides in hearts and minds of men not to destroy their enemies but the bearer of the hate.
You can never hate someone so much as to cause them to fail or lack sleep. Hate , hurts the bearer more than the intended target.
Let go off pain , let go off a bitter spirit, let go off experiences that dejected your soul. Some people will speak bitterly of events that occurred 39 years ago, they’ve built permanent hate nests in their heads and they walk around carrying their death sentence .
Pain and hate will wear your soul out, wrinkle your skin and puncture your will to live.
Forgiveness heals you more than the one you forgive, its cheaper for your life. If many of us practised forgiveness our courts won’t be this busy. A vindictive, revengeful spirit will book you a space in prisons, and eventually hell.
Embrace forgiveness and heal thy self.