IN a pure act of mischief, a Bulawayo man who claimed that his wife had slapped him with sex sanctions caused a raucous in court when he begged the magistrate to halt proceedings and briefly allow him to have sex with his wife.
The “quickie”, he said, would subsequently stop him from self-pleasuring.
Nhlanhla Khumalo apparently justified his demands to turn the courtroom into a love nest saying at home his wife, Sithembisile Khumalo, had turned their 12-year relationship to that of a mere brother and sister.
In a bid to draw the magistrate’s mercy, Khumalo produced a yellow cloth which he said was never used despite the fact that he bought it from South Africa with the sole purpose of using it after intimacy.
Nhlanhla further claimed that if his wife continued sexually starving him he would resort to using mubobobo on her.
His claims came after his wife, who was seeking a protection order against him, had told the magistrate that he was in the habit of emotionally, physically and verbally abusing her.
“My husband is an excessive drinker and he turns violent against me every time he drinks. He physically, verbally and emotionally abuses me in front of our children. At one time he threatened to kill me,” said Sithembisile.
Responded Nhlanhla: “The problem is that my wife is denying me my conjugal rights. I get sex once in three weeks but I would want it every day. Today as I am speaking I didn’t get the morning glory. When I am deprived sexually I become angry leading to a misunderstanding.
“Your Worship I am going through hard times. Can you smell this cloth to ascertain whether it has been used? I bought it from South Africa with the sole purpose of using it . . . after the act but it is almost two months and it has not been used. I will be grateful if you give me an order to have sex here as a way of stopping me from m****bating because at home she refuses to sleep with me,” said Khumalo before he went all over his wife kissing and caressing her.
The magistrate would have none of it.
“Stop doing that Khumalo this is not your bedroom but a court of law. So do you want to have sex before me? Don’t be funny I can have you arrested now for contempt of court,” said the magistrate.
“I am very sorry Your Worship but to tell you the truth my wife is sexually starving me and at one time I told her that uyavuza because she is not treating me as her husband. I love her and if she continues starving me I will definitely use mubobobo on her,” he said. In her defence,
Sithembisile disputed her husband’s claims saying she gives him as much conjugal rights as he wanted.
At the end of the dramatic session, presiding magistrate Mr Victor Mpofu granted the protection order in Sithembisile’s favour.
Meanwhile, Prosper Dembedza reports that a man yesterday told the Harare Magistrates’ Civil Courts that he separated from his wife after his in-laws barred him from having sexual intercourse until he paid the balance on the bride price.
Shephered Gumbo said after siring one child with his wife Patricia Sabawo, his in-laws banned sexual intercourse with his wife saying the comfort he had enjoyed was equivalent to the lobola he had so far paid.
The revelations came after Gumbo was arraigned before the court by Sabawo, who was claiming US$120 maintenance for the upkeep of their child.
“He is not supporting me in taking care of his child and I want the court to order him to pay US$120 each month as maintenance. The US$120 will be enough to take care of our child and to finish roofing the house that we are currently staying in,” she said
Gumbo said he was unable to pay that amount and could only afford US$70 monthly.
“Your Worship US$120 is too much for me because I now have another wife to care for and I can manage to give her US$70 per month,” he said.
Magistrate Mr Tafadwa Muvhami ordered Gumbo to pay US$100 per month as maintenance starting April 30.