By Albert Nyakundi Amenya aka The Banana Peddler
Recently in my Village Chinche Village, Gesangero Sub Location, Ngenyi location, Marani division, Kitutu Chache North Constituency, there were lots of complaints from men who suspected their wives of cheating. An old man called Gekone told them not to worry because he’ll catch the cheating wives for them. He secretly asked every man to contribute Ksh500 but asked them not to tell their wives.
He then threw a mega party and invited every man and his wife. Gekone slaughtered five goats. At the party, every villager was there because the food was free of charge. Women were asked not to touch any food, and that it is their men who will cook for them and serve them.
“They say a watched pot never boils.” Women were very happy and eagerly waiting for the food cooked by their own husbands. Meanwhile, everyone was given uji to drink as they wait for food. The food was ready nonetheless. Gekone ordered all the Nyama choma to be put a big sufuria outside his house.
He sought their attention to make an announcement. While everyone was silent, he told them:
“Attention everyone, I want all women on one side.”
Wives separated from their hubbies.
“Now, as you can see, there is a big sufuria here full of Nyama choma. All this is for women only. No man is allowed to touch”
Upon hearing that announcement, women ululated (Bakaiririata) in joy. In fact, everyone was fighting to be in front so that she can serve first. Gekone stood and said:
“These goats were treated and bewitched with a famous herbalist (Omonyamosira). If you are here and you know you have ever cheated on your husband, even once please don’t touch the meat. Please go home because if you taste it something bad will happen to you after one hour and the witchdoctor (Omokengi) cannot save all of you.”
No sooner had Gekone finished, than the women disappeared to nowhere. Only two women ate the meat. Even men suddenly lost their appetite. They went to look for their wives but up to date, I haven’t followed up to know what transpired. One thing I am sure of, Gekone ate all the mbuzis.
The question I kept asking myself was what if my niece Jerusha Mogaka and my small wife Kemunto Nyakundi were among those women, would they have eaten that meat? Cde Morientez and Silas Gisiora Nyanchwani, hapo hiyo ni tricky sana.
(The writer sells Bananas in the streets of Kisii town)