By Ekakoro Emm
I’ve been wondering what informs the Thurakus who say they’re still for completing the journey. I wondered whether the increasingly oppressive regime hasn’t touched them in any way, whether they’re optimists par excellence or are beneficiaries of a Jubilee secret scheme to reward its ardent supporters. I have even wondered whether their hate for Ja Bondo is so great they’d rather be ruled by a cat’s pee than that old man from Bondo. Then it hit me.
Jubidiots are those kind of ex-lovers who walked out of a reasonably good relationship without any good reason. The only reason was that they thought they were so good they deserved better. And they went straight into another relationship that promised to be heavenly.
However, a few days into the relationship, their new lover showed their true colors, and the colors were not lovely at all. And to add insult to injury, the lover had walked out on them.
Now they sit there, single, wearing a brave face, pretending all is well. When they remember the good times, they even contemplate going back to their old lover and grovelling till they’re taken back. But either pride, or the knowledge that the ex had enough of their bullshit stops them going back. Instead they even get violent at abusive to anyone who advises them to go and plead with the old lover. They tell anyone who may listen that they have moved on, that they are happy, and they don’t care.
When someone shows them photos depicting their ex-lover’s most recent success, or new happy relationship, they pretend not to care. But behind closed doors they let go and have themselves a good cry over the wasted love. They even fast or pray novenas that their ex may come back miraculously. In the privacy of their minds they even curse that the ex is deliberately displaying their new-found happiness just to spite them.
But in the morning they’ll wash and powder their face and step out into the world declaring they’d never date “that loser” again even if their life depended on it. They’ll declare life couldn’t have been better. They’ll sing #TanoTena. They’ll faithfully display #IAmForCompletingTheJourneyWithUhuru on their timeline while inward they’re questioning what went wrong with their dream.