By Silas Gisiora Nyanchwani
The most important piece of writing on female underwear came from Bikozulu’s blog about a decade ago. It is still there, read it recently and it is as fresh as grapes sold along Uhuru Highway. I must have read the piece like 69 times. Check it, it is titled knickers.
Because as Kisii men, we have a very difficult relationship with female underwear. It is a taboo. When I was taken to the river to be made a man, an uncle responsible for teaching me morals slapped the hell out of me, with clear instructions; from today, you must never touch your mother’s bra or panties from the hanging line even if it is raining. Or step inside her bedroom.
And up to the time you go to the grave, you are never supposed to see your mother and sisters’ innerwear(including bras). Little wonder that female panties can be a source of so much trauma as a child.
Until you land in Nairobi, and realise it is actually not a big deal. First time I went to a swimming pool and saw girls in their swim gear, I was actually shy. But around this time, we started dating and female innerwear became part of our wardrobes, sometimes left to mark territory. Strange beings women are.
Female panties are mysterious. Maybe it is just me. But I once saw Munyaka Njiru complain if it is right to air them on the public line. And just about the time some woman moved to the apartment next to ours whose balcony faces ours. The woman who has the best body for a 40-year old, often washes all her panties and lines them in the lines and boy, what a collection she has.
In the course of a man’s life, you will date all manner of girls and you will take off many panties. Some good. Some not so good. Like for me, a black panty is such a turn off, literally.
But in Nairobi, girls have really some good taste for panties, lingeries, thongs (Sisqo comes to mind) and whatever else they wear. But boy, if worn right, it can power your imagination to a point you can discover a machine that will enable us to travel to different galaxies in good time.
Men live solely to take off female panties. They buy huge cars for that. Build big houses, flaunt their riches with one singular aim. It is a curse of life. Often they kill, go to war. Just to lower it. It is one power women wield over men and we are powerless.
I have also noticed that some of the prettiest women are likely to show up on a date in mother’s union. “>Gloria Angwenyi “>Instagram: pretty_outfitters
More to the point, my niece
“>Gloria Angwenyiis a learned online hawker and has quite some selection of panties that she sells very affordably. Like her page, Pretty Outfitters, (https://www.facebook.com/PrettyOutfitters/)
And select what you like. She has a wide array to select from, everything for everyone, whether your granny, to slay queens, and for those Sundays you can’t care less, you just want to bake a cake and lounge on your sofa. Cotton and lace available, and a good discount for those who buy more than five. And all sizes, 8-16. Minimum order three and she delivers to everywhere in the country within two days, and Tanzania and Zambia.
She insists if you order through me, there is 20% discount for orders above Sh.1500.
Male boxers and other cosmetics are available. Camp on her page.
For enquires, WhatsApp her: 0725233160