By Joseph Hellon
When a woman talks to a man, she needs to realize that the man hears her words as information. He doesn’t hear it as an emotional expression of what she could be desiring or going through. He deciphers the information and immediately puts mechanisms in place to resolve it or to fulfill it.
Take for example, when a woman says “I’m hungry,” the man will hear her as saying “I need food right now.” He goes about looking for a place where he can get some food for her to eat. She might even change her mind and say that she would be happy to wait till they get home to eat. She has only expressed the feeling of hunger and hopes that her husband would talk about it in more details.
A wise husband would first sympathize with her predicament and say, “Oh dear, it’s been such a long day and you haven’t got anything in your stomach. Should we stop at the convenience store and buy some snack to help keep the hunger pangs at bay?” She would probably just relax and thank him for being so affectionate and for reading her emotions right. She might even say that she isn’t feeling hungry any more.
You see, her immediate need wasn’t food. It was the emotion that desired understanding and empathy. When that emotional need is met, she somewhat thinks she can deal with the rest of the matter all by herself.
On the other hand, when a man talks to a woman, she must not sympathize with him as he only communicates information. She ought to act on what he says immediately. If a woman speaks what she thinks to a man, he understands her much faster. If she communicates what she feels, sometimes most men would get lost and misinterpret her motivation.
Women release their emotions through tears. She might cry because of what the husband said. The man might say, “If you continue crying, I’ll leave and come back when you’re settled and ready to talk.” He sees her tears as unnecessary. According to his information designed mind, he wonders what would cause her to cry when he wasn’t being personal in the first place. All he is saying is this, “I’m looking for information and I’m not getting any. I think I shouldn’t be here.”