By S N
A while back, I was buying a book outside the Nation Media Group. There is a very nice Inama Bookshop.
There were three men, conversing in Ekesgusii. One, was an elderly man, in 70s, most likely, a retired civil servant who used to live in Nairobi, or those rich mzees from the village who visit their kin in the city frequently. He was short, bitter (by his tone), authoritative, and wise, by communal standards.
The other two included a middle-aged guy, who probably who works in town, and the other was a man about my age, early 30s.
From the snippets of the conversation, I could pick that their male kin who had everything going for him, had been abandoned by a Kikuyu wife. The Kikuyu wife had gone with children and much of the wealth and the man was ruing his chances. Much of the conversation was laden with dirty stereotypes. We have all heard them. The old man was extremely pensive. He had so much pain in his eyes, and I could feel his heart.
“We always advised you, young men, never marry a Kikuyu woman. You never listen,” he shook his head mournful.
“You come to Nairobi, and you think you know it all. You despise the counsel of us old men who have seen it all, and in the end, you regret.” This was followed by that quietude that follows when someone says something heavy. The two men agreed with him, by nodding and listening. I could sense the man packed so much authority, by the patience exercised by the two men with him.
I had to leave. But I went away thinking. The biggest crime you can commit in my community as a man is marry a Kikuyu woman. Sadly, there are more sad endings than good endings to back up the old people’s beliefs.
I was recently at home, and I haven’t been there in years, and my peoples don’t know my “persons”. But I could sense their relief when I told them I didn’t marry a Kikuyu. They voiced their relief saying, “At least, you young men of towns have a way of getting confused…et cetera et cetera.
But given a chance, I will marry a Kikuyu women. I dated two, and the two rejected me, for their own reasons, but I would marry them and will not regret.
What our people don’t know is that the world has changed, and millennials think the same, regardless of their tribe, religion or whatever creed that used to define us.
But I rank Kikuyu women on top of the Kenyan female civilization. And this is not some politically correct post. I love the sheer pragmatism of Kikuyu woman.
Women from West Kenya are full of trouble. Kisii women are a pain in the neck. Luo women can be a raw deal if you pick the wrong one. Luhya, women, well.
Western Kenyan women have emotional problems. With all due respect, try dating a Luo or a Kisii woman, and they can wreck your life.
A typical Kikuyu woman is good, hakusumbui. She minds her business. Works hard for her money. And most importantly, I find them to be very mature emotionally, they don’t suffer silly insecurities.
I am not trying to generalize. But from experience, the relationships I have had with Kikuyu women have been the healthiest, mature, and drama-free. And even when they failed, there was no post-break drama.
Most Kikuyu-Kisii marriages fail for various reasons. But we rarely question the role of men when such relationships end. Men from western Kenya, have divorced wives from their tribe. We never talk of marriages that break down within our communities, but when you marry out, and it breaks down, tribe becomes the first factor of judgment.
There is a reason, more and more men from Western Kenya are picking on Kikuyu women. Because our women sometimes are not worth the trouble. And Kikuyu women are good in giving you peace of mind to operate.
My friend, I can’t name him, yesterday told me,
“When do we get over these stereotypes nonsense so that we can marry Kikuyu women without any guilt or having to explain?”
I think, now is the time.
Wacha nikule ndizi kwanza.
PS: This is my personal opinion, and in no way reflects the position of men from Western Kenya, each person has their own unique experience. So, don’t catch feelings on the basis of this.