By Chomba Njoka via Facebook
I have been alarmed at some recent incidences that have happened near me recently regarding abuse among married men. I have dealt recently with several cases involving men who are being abused physically and emotionally to a great deal by their wives, the abuse ranges from being splashed with hot water to bites, destruction of property etc. The common denominator is that these men are in their late 40’s and 50’s, their wives are equally in the same age gap, I have met all of those women and they look as innocent as puppy and are largely church leaders in women groups.
The other common denominator is that all these women demand the men to leave them and the kids in their matrimonial home which is often the inheritance land from the man’s side of the family. One actually demanded the guy leaves after smashing his phone with a hammer. It’s a worrying trend that is not unique to my area of residence.
The reality of things is that property is a factor in the desire for separation or divorce, also these women turn out to be worse abusers than nyayo after years of marriage. Women seem to seek divorce after an average of 15-20 years.
You can draw lessons for yourself, but you as a man getting married doesn’t mean that you have life or economic security.
The Interesting thing is that all these men couldn’t hit their wives or retaliate because they know the law would fuck them good so they just get hit and not defend themselves.
If these women are of this particular age, I’m just imagining how the current crop of women will turn out, I would say though cautiously, that women from my community have turned out to be very militant and aggressively property minded. I say this because I have experienced women from some other communities and you can tell the differences in how you are treated, huku kwetu you are in luck finding Feminine women as opposed say to like Rendille or Somali communities where the majority are Feminine.
Anyway, fellas, just watch out, don’t be emotional when seeking out long term mates, emotions are a weakness. Use your head.
Also as someone pointed out be ready to be divorced and possibly broke in your 50’s. Look around you at men in their 50’s, and their Marital state, you can learn a thing or two.