In the past there was one thing that really crippled me with women. Often times Iâ€™d meet a girl and things would go fantastic, weâ€™d laugh, share some great anecdotes, and then Iâ€™d get her number. I think everything is going to go my way, but soon enough I never hear back from her. She goes from responding in seconds, to taking a few hours to respond, to completely disappearing. Itâ€™s something that I was able to relate to with so many of my friends, and it was one colossal point of frustration in my life. Often times I just wanted to chug a gallon of vodka, go out and bang the first chubby hooker that I made eye contact with.
What Was Going On in My Head?
I thought she liked me. Why isnâ€™t she acting the same way she used to with me? What did I do? Did I say something to offend her over text? I just had no idea, and it made me really question myself. Hell sometimes I just thought â€œmaybe I should just start banging dudesâ€¦that might be easierâ€. I never acted on these thoughts despite how often it crossed my mind. Instead I tried to figure out a solution.
How Was I Fucking It Up
It was frustrating for me to see what could potentially be great experiences with a girl fade away. A few years back I met a good friend of mine named Race de Priest. Not too long after I met him he started on a book on how to text women. I was fortunate enough to be one of the first people to read his book, and I came to many realizations afterwards.
The biggest was how I transformed through text. One of reasons I was able to meet women with success in public places like bars, clubs, or even coffee shops was because of the way I presented myself. I came across as very playful, confident, and non-needy. Then Iâ€™d get the number and for some reason I would think to myself that the hard part is done. I thought to myself â€œok I have her number, now all I need to do is get her in bed, and hump my way into her heart and Iâ€™ll be setâ€. But usually what happened was that my persona would completely change after I got her number, and it was something that I didnâ€™t even realize I was doing.
From viewing movies all my life I would see guys get a girlâ€™s number and rejoice like theyâ€™ve just had an orgy with every Victoria Secretâ€™s Angel alive. To them it was such a big deal, and I too thought getting the number was such a huge accomplishment, when in reality it wasnâ€™t even half the battle. At best it was less than 10 percent of the battle. So when I would text a girl I would get worried if she didnâ€™t reply right away, I would start overthinking things and all the worst scenarios would pop into my head. Next thing I know I send out another text and another and only five minutes have passed by since I received the first text. To her I seemed like a clingy girl with marriage and children on my mind, and I was soon filtered out of her life as a man who had any chance of doing unholy things to her and her vagina.
I looked needy, and desperate. Despite being funny and playful in person I would ruin things over text, and the reason was a lack of congruency. Over text I wasnâ€™t congruent to who I was in person. In person I was confident and funny, over text I was like a mentally handicapped chimp who was constantly seeking attention.
The same situation could be reversed. If I were to meet a girl off of an online dating site, and I seem awesome over text and over the internet, but then when we met if I happen to be completely a different person things would go south real quick.
How Did I Fix This
The solution was far simpler than I imagined. I just had to be more like myself over text. One of the best tips I learned about texting was to simply send a text, and forget it. After sending it, I kept myself busy with something else, so that my mind wasnâ€™t focused on the BING that my phone made when I receive a new text. In the past I would send a text message and just stare at my phone like a stoner staring into a vacant fridge hoping for food to appear.
Not only that, but I played it too safe over text in the past. In person I unapologetically spouted sexual innuendos like a perverted middle school student in front of his close friends. In person I just said whatever was on my mind, and was unapologetic about it, whereas over text I completely pussied out when it came to being bold. I would start to type something, overthink, and end up deleting everything that I had just written like an indecisive teenage girl who canâ€™t pick out a dress at the mall. In the end I would go with the safest response I could think of, and of course it was fucking boring.
After adjusting my attitude about texting, girls texted back often, and with enthusiasm. Some simple tips I can give you to improve this aspect of your dating life now are:
Be bold, but not an asshole.
Try to keep things on an even field when it comes to the length of time you take to text her, and how long your texts are.
Be more descriptive in the language you use when texting. Thereâ€™s a reason 50 Shades a Grey is a national best seller, the language used puts a clear image in a womanâ€™s mind.
Occupy yourself after you send a text, or else you will go insane waiting for a girl to text you back as you stare blankly at your phone waiting for it to vibrate.
Donâ€™t overthink things. If you start thinking â€œItâ€™s been an hour, why the fuck hasnâ€™t she texted back!â€ You will want to chop off your own arm.
Changing the way you think when it comes to texting a women will help you out greatly. Here are just a few tips to get you on the right track, and having girlâ€™s text YOU constantly.