About Atwoli,69, Marrying Mary Kilobi,33.
When it comes to making a choice about their interests, women are ruthlessly efficient.
If her boss wants to sleep with her and that guarantees her promotion or more perks and she is the ambitious type, her marriage will not be an encumbrance, just a minor inconvenience.
If you are a 35 year old man and your wife is 32 and her boss or some politician develops interest in her, it is over for you son.
I know a dozen decent women who can turn down the advances of rich and powerful men but they are the exception, not the rule.
And if the boss wants to marry her, she will leave the poor husband without blinking. But always there is an excuse of, “he cheated”, “he is abusive”,and her army of “go-go-girl’ women will cheer into the jackpot.
So many men in Nairobi have lost their women to well-endowed(money-wise and otherwise).
I want to tell men here today that you can lose your woman at any time. There are men who are turned on by married women. And they have made it their duty to entice them as far as possible, tempting them with every charm, goodie at their disposal.
I will urge the men, treat your woman right, so that if she has to leave, you should not be the excuse for her leaving. Let her leave for her own reasons.
What I am telling men, is that you can’t own a woman or police her. Millennial women hate that very idea. You can only leave it to God to do the work for you.
In the likely event she cheats or leaves you, count your losses. It doesn’t matter how much you have spent on her. My readers from 10 years ago know my position on educating your wife.
I have met very many men who circumstances never allowed them to go to school. But they got a job, or started a business that became success. They married a woman from a poor family who had passed her KCSE but never got a chance to go to college. Or they marry a college educated woman, and they decide to sponsor her for Master’s. Once done, the women start disrespecting the men and some leave the men altogether.
Some men always go for revenge. Some resign to fate, shocked at the human capacity for disappointing. Those in the millitary often kill their spouse and her lover before turning the gun on themselves.
I know of folks, men who go to States, struggle so much to get papers, come back home pick their wife from the village, and go with her to States. They do everything for her but five years down the line she is no longer the woman they married. With the freedom and the way women are empowered, the women start going out, sometimes even with the male friends of the man, openly despising the men. Some men can move on. But some mostly kill or come back home, looking for books to study human nature.
I have never advocated for violence, no matter the reason. I always tell my friends that human beings have an infinite ability to shock and disappoint. I always take my time to tell them to learn to deal with the fact that their wives can cheat, have cheated or will cheat on them in due course. They should not beat themselves too hard about how life unravels. If it was bound to happen, it will happen.
My lady Nikki Giovanni says that mistakes are bound to happen. How we respond to them is what matters.
I know to be jilted is a bad thing. To be jilted when you have an ego, is doubly dangerous.
But don’t broadcast your problems. Just gather a few trusted friends, drink together and share.
Then go to Church or Kneel down and ask God for strength.
I would love to break protocol and quote myself from a column I did for the Nairobian at the beginning of the 2016.
“Sometimes, the worst things that happen to us often turn out to be the best thing that could happen to us.”
I live with that. So can you. Being left by a woman, or a man is not the worst thing that can happen to you. Death is.
So live while you can. There are always better people out there who deserve you. If there aren’t, there are still many good distractions to savour as you match towards your death.
Let me grab some liver and chapatti in a Somali restaurant.
See you guys at 5 o’clock for evening thoughts.