By Kura Kipkura
Recently as you all know some women, God knows under the inspiration from who, wanted to strip naked before TV cameras because they thought Muthama had abused Uhuru Kenyatta. I do not know which law in this land bars somebody from calling another person the president’s mistress, i sincerely do not know but that is a story for another day. This is what i want to say.
Looking at majority, or let’s just say all of them, they were indisputably from Central Kenya, a probable distant generation of the ancient Wangari Mathaib led anti colonial strippers. I later heard that some well known mother said she would strip of UK’s ICC cases were to be confirmed, i waited that but the TV guys never showed it. Who knows maybe she stripped before close family members with no media allowed.
It is unfathomable how a married woman goes back to her husband in the evening after stripping before the full glare of the entire nation. How will you even convince your man from not thinking he paid tens of cattle to you parents just to have you strip for other men’s tribulation!?
See, while the handful Kikuyu women were chanting anti Muthama songs holding their dresses up for somebody to come and prevent them from exposing their nudity, mama Margaret Kenyatta was tying the laces of her training shoes ready for an afternoon jog, thinking of how to prevent the next child birth death somewhere in Kenya.
And finally, please, if you are yet to buy yourself a wife. Value for your hard earned cash matters a lot. Just take the next matatu, or the next flight or drive down Eldoret or Iten, look for a nice Kalenjin woman in round not so fitting skirts and a simple blouse and start preparing to pay dowry. These girls will give you a dream family. They will never strip, or even threaten to even if somebody said Kipchumba Murkomen has a scandalous affair with Vera Sidika (sic).
It is true that few Kalenjin girls have been spotted along the university hallways dead drunk calling the name of their villages aloud but that is it.. that is what education does to a fresh person right from the village. Of course the sudden giant leap fro Mursik and Millet flour ugali to Burger and pizza comes with a noticable consequence but this is it.
My kalenjin sisters are still the best to Marry and i am calling on my friend Edward Chweya not to ever consider dropping his ambition. They will not strip for if they do so, all the school buses from the entire kalenjin land will be recalled to ferry elders from West Pokot for Kilgoris to spell out the curse. Thank you for gossiping alongside me.