Here are the top 19 hilarious quotes by Africa’s wise man, the aged President Mugabe
1. Dear ladies, if your boyfriend did not wish you a happy Mother’s Day or sing Sweet Mother for you, you should stop breastfeeding him.
2. If you are ugly, you are ugly. Stop talking about inner beauty because men do not walk around with X-ray machines to see inner beauty.
3. Some women’s legs are like rumors, they just keep on spreading.
4. When you kiss a girl from another nationality, do it well because you represent the whole country
5. Girls, learn to take care of yourselves. Some men will use you, use your body, ruin your reputation and then marry a beautiful woman and get born again. And as if that is not enough, use you as testimony in church.
6. Nothing makes a woman more confused than being in a relationship with a broke man who is extremely good in bed.
7. Whenever things seem to start going well in your life, the devil cones along and gives you a girlfriend.
8. Dear sisters, don’t be deceived by a man who texts you “I miss you” only when it is raining, because you are not an umbrella.
9. All I hear always is, “No sex before marriage.” If that was God’s plan, then you would receive your penis or vagina on your wedding day.
10. Respect pregnant women because it is not easy walking around with evidence that you have had sex.
11. Check your girlfriend’s body, if she has more tattoos or piercings, you can cheat on her. She is already used to pain.
12. Dating a slim or slender guy is cool. The problem is when you are lying on his chest then his ribs draw Adidas lines on your face.
13. God is the best inventor ever. He took a rib from a man and created a loudspeaker.
14. Some girls don’t attend the gym but look physically fit because of running from one man to another.
15. Some of the girls of today cannot even jog for five minutes but they expect a man to last in bed for two hours. Your level of selfishness demands a one-week crusade
16. For a woman with beauty without brains, it’s her private parts that suffer.
17. Virginity is the best wedding gift any man would receive from his newlywed wife but lately, there is nothing as such any longer because it’ll have already been given out as a birthday gift, token of appreciation, job assurance, church collection, examination marking schemes and for lorry fares.
18. We are living in a generation where people in love are free to touch each others’ private parts but cannot touch each others’ phones because they are private.
19. It is better for a man to be stingy with his money because he hustled for it than a woman to deny you a hole she did not drill.