By Silas Nyanchwani via FB
The last 24 hours I have been thinking about grace, gratitude and entitlement.
I was thinking about it because of the privilege I have had this year to have two key people in my life who in every way, God sent to my life.
Over the years, gratitude became a rare virtue amongst us. It has been replaced by a certain entitlement. We now have entitled family members. Entitled lovers. Entitled friends.
I must admit that for a period in my life, I felt entitled towards certain friends and people around me. I felt they had an obligation to rescue me from myself. Not sure where this period of weakness came from, because ever since I was a child I always knew nobody owed me anything and everything favour I received was because people’s graces as directed by God.
Then for about two years I was mistaken and it is a period I regret because entitlement breeds a certain complacency where you blame your misfortunes on everyone but yourself.
There are people when they borrow money from you for instance and you tell them you don’t have, they grumble and think you are cheating them. Yet, you will never be an adult until you understand that even people you think have money can be broke or can have commitments. Your emergency is not their priority. And if they do have, the choice to give you is their prerogative. And you have no right to be mad, call him or her a fake friend and do the usual manipulation that “you are waiting for me to die so that you can contribute more.”
I unlearned my entitlement to people’s love, time, resources and favours. In place of entitlement I relearned how to be grateful. And gracious.
See grace is a powerful thing to possess in your heart. And you can learn grace.
We survive on God’s grace. Something Apostle Paul talks a great deal in his letters. Once we have God’s grace in us, we extend to ourselves and to others.
And then we become individually responsible responsible to ourselves and know that the power to change and transform ourselves resides in us. And when we get help of any kind it is because of the grace of others. Not because we deserve. And when we give out lives to others it is also because of grace. We don’t buy reciprocity. We don’t barter good deeds for something. It is natural to expect gratitude from those we extend help to, but often it is never forthcoming.
So, guys, if your elder sibling comes through for you, it is not because he is obliged by consanguinity to help you. There are so many people with elder siblings who are better off who never come through for them. Be gracious. And when they don’t help you, don’t grumble be bitter.
If you have friends in high places and they don’t come through for you, understand it can because of certain constraints before you judge and say people change. It is natural to feel a certain way towards them. But unlearn those feelings.
Be responsible for yourself first. Extend your grace to others. Be grateful when you get help from others.
And with that, we sing and internalise John newton’s Amazing grace and may the day break.