By Dorcas Sarkozy
I know what you are thinking. What on earth is she doing? Yeah, I do take breaks from the contours of politics to plunge into social issues too. You know? We all have to ‘live’ a little. And without much further ado, allow me to drop some knowledge on an issue that I have come to realize that a lot of you brothers need help in understanding. I am talking about seduction.
The ultimate goal is to win the woman’s heart, the means and ways of achieving that, is where you fellas routinely hit the proverbial wall. Take a walk with me.
The first brother that I want to talk about is the ‘businessman.’ This is the guy who poses as a businessman looking to do ‘business’ with the woman in question. He unbolts from the gates with a business plan or intention to pitch a sale to the woman and waxes about the scope of his business complete with financial statements, ostensibly to show his business gravitas! Excuse me sir! Do I have sign on my forehead reading : “I am looking for a business partner?” Take those financials to a bank for a business loan and don’t forget to secure the services of a dating coach.
The next brother is the ‘name-dropper.’ This man ‘knows’ or is ‘related’ to all the dignitaries, business magnates, political luminaries and celebrities in the country. He brandishes business cards and selfies with the biggies in an attempt to look important.
Listen player, if you have to leverage off other people, you are probably not worth a second of any serious woman. Be your self! Who told you that a reasonable woman will fall for you because of your alleged ties to important people? Remember, if the woman is to fall for you, it will because of you not them. Mark you, it takes two seconds to snap a selfie with anyone. Shoot, I could get a selfie too.
The other brother, is the ‘five-dollar-word” dropper! This is the man who inundates a lady’s wall with big words! Its as if this fella, spends time memorizing big words in the dictionary only to deploy them on a simple Facebook post. This is the overly wordy brother who turns a Facebook thread into a ‘spelling bee’ championship battle.
Simple yes or no answers mutate into paragraphs! Look, this is not a high school debating contest, its seduction and there is a reason why the word ‘love’ consists of only four letters. No woman will all of a sudden be into you because you have memorized the lexicon. Get it together. If that was the case, ladies would be head-over-heels on English lecturers. Ladies are looking for life partners not lyrical geeks.
The pity party man. This is the guy who cooks up tragedy in order to get sympathy from the lady. How sadness morphs into romance is beyond my comprehension. Bro, if a woman has to sympathise with you in order to fall for you, look elsewhere. Its not going to happen. By the way, that’s not love, there is a word for that and I believe its called charity!
The impostor: this is the man who makes it his business to claim proximity to the woman by writing semi-personal and ‘suggestive’ posts on a woman’s Facebook timeline for all and sundry to see. This type of brother magically believes that by brandishing such posts on a lady’s wall, that somehow, he gets major points. Not even close.
If you have to publicly shout on a wall like that, chances are, you are trying too hard sir. And by the way, you are playing to an audience and certainly the woman’s heart is not part of the equation. Quick question; do you seriously believe that by holding court on a wall on a ‘mafisi’ infested forum, you are somehow making progress towards a woman’s heart? Think again.
Look folks, if a woman is in to you, there will be no ifs and buts, the signs will be clear. She will give you a subtle signs that you are the one and if you play your cards right, you will start getting covert signals that you are on the shortlist to her heart. Remember this: women are very sensitive, any single bonehead move could be costly. When she finally falls for you, it will be crystal clear and she will hoist you up high. But if she is not into you, bro, you can memorize the entire ‘Songs of Solomon’ and recite the entire Shakespearean love poems and still come up short.
Women know what they want, how they want it and when they want it. The problem is that men, often myopically think that they have the ultimate keys. No, you may think that you have the keys , but we have the ability to change the locks. Be careful.