By Agnes Sikuku
1.They poison your pet that you love more than your life.They can’t stand it at their house,so it must die.
2.Befriend your househelp or relative and obtain your wifi password.They end up using your WiFi without your knowledge.
3.Borrow stuff like jembes, axe,movies,or curtlery when they have guests and never return them or return them when they are in bad shape-And never apologise.
4.Extend the boundary of the shamba.When you ask,they hold a panga to point where their imaginery boundary reaches or threaten to cut you into pieces.
5.They let their animals eat your crops then denie or refuse to compensate you.
6.They steal your househelps or shamba boys.They promise them better pay elsewhere or incite them into believing you are a monster who treats them like crap.
7.They let your clothes be rained on on the clothesline.They were around and even unhanged their clothes from an adjacent line,but they can’t touch yours.
8.They pass by you everyday as though you are a pillar.Then you see them on social media saying “Good morning friends?Wish you all a good day”.You know you are not their friends.
9.They play very loud music from their hometheatres with speakers mounted all over their houses.You imagine they are an extension of a club or they are partially deaf .You can’t sleep or have a meaningful conversation thanks to their noises.
10.When in the village and your hen lays eggs at their place,they will slaughter it for supper and have eggs for breakfast.
11.When their son impregnates your daughter who has just sat for her kcse,they will have none of it.They will be defensive.One will say :”ho!my son is too young to impregnate a girl.Ho!your girl is a slut.That pregnancy belongs to Mwarabu’s son who lives on the other side of the river”.That’s how your daughter will be left holding the baby.
12.They forbid their kids from playing with your kids or eating at your house.
13.They boycott any ceremony that is at your place wether invited or uninvited.
14.In the village, they make a ditch from their farm that pours all the rain water in your farm.We know how arrogant they get when asked to redirect the runoff to the path or elsewhere.You will watch helplessly as your crops will lack nutrients due to waterlogging.
15.They sleep with your wife or husband when you are away or even around.
16.They peddle bitter truths and lies about you.They know your family is divided or that your kid at the university is into drugs.They don’t hesitate to tell those who care to know or even those who are not interested.
17.They take your parking slot and lock themselves in their houses.
18.They litter or let their children litter the area around your house and have no apologies about it.
19.They eat at your place and tell many stories but you can never drink a cup of water at their place.
20.They covet your husband or wife,children,in-laws, your livestock,poultry,the clear view of your television channels,your male servant,female servant and everything that is yours