OPEN LETTER TO NANA GECAGA, UHURU’S NIECE
I have read your story of trying to find true and genuine love, and your attempts have always hit the rocks, you claim that men are not genuine because they are only interested in your status, wealth and connection. This is very true, imagine in a country where grown men share a cigarette that goes for 3/=, where two people buy supu ya mifupa, a cup is 10/= then share, just imagine if you meet such people as your potential lovers, what would you expect? Of course they will want you to uplift their status so that they can be “Humans” first, then they become potential lovers.
In the next paragraph, I am going to give you a step by step plan on how you will get a genuine lover, I also understand that you have three kids, and men don’t like to marry a woman with a child/kid, not children/kids, that bit I will not help you how to go about it, but I have two friends who are my competition on matters touching women, I hope they will help you on that bit, their names are Thiong’o Wa Gichuhi and Frank Mungai.
My big sister, do this, go to a low end estate in Eastlands and rent an apartment, a place like Umoja Estate is better, avoid Dandora and Kayole, the rent their for some decent house is between 12,000 to 15,000, monthly, start living there, strictly avoid a car, men get intimidated by females who drive, avoid and avoid and if you must drive, buy a very cheap second hand car that will be breaking down after like 3 days of taking it to a mechanic, but but using Matatu is a better way, the word Matatu means a vehicle that carries people from one point to the next, like it will fetch you from Umoja to CBD then you part with something small like 30/- or 50/-, the word Matatu was coined by travellers in the 1970s because bus fare from those days was shilingi tatu, so the word Matatu was conceived, you see madam, I am now teaching you how hustlers live, wachana hio ya Ruto, huyo sio hustler kabisaa, he is an ex hustler a fossil hustler turned richer than average Kenyatta grand children like you.
You see my sister, average men will start approaching you for dates, let them be deciding the venue of the date, because if it is you deciding you might mess and mention places like Windsor Golf Hotel, Serena, Karamel and so on, men hate such places, hata mwanaumme akikwambia muende Uhuru Park wewe kubali tu. One thing to avoid, don’t mention that you are related to Uhuru Kenyatta, don’t tell them you are CEO of KICC, try to live a lie, lie and lie,don’t tell them that you went to a college in London or a University in Germany, they will run away, waambie ulikuwa KU or just say you have a Diploma in business administration, or Certificate in Secretarial Studies. Be calm always, let them pay all the bills, men love being superior, don’t show them that you can drink a Muzinga of Whisky alone, No, be moderate, at least show them that you drink Mango Juice……………That way, you will get a genuine lover, slowly by slowly you will begin to mould him into a man that you want, then with time, you will elevate him from his poverty salary of 50,000- 80,000 per month to a reasonable pay, you will emancipate him from poverty. Of course you will have him for a period of may be 3 to 5 years, but he is likely to run away to his poverty kind of women again because training an old dog new tricks is an uphill task- see even that a son of a begger turned bishop run yet he was London educated … To be honest stick to the rich club, see even our very poor women are also stranded, nothing to do with your education or miseducation of Kenyatta wealth, its just you and your gods….