By Njoki Chege
I must admit that there is something about the lure of the married man. Married men are mature, know how to treat a lady and most know what women want. Needless to say that most are moneyed and do not mind spending a fortune on you. The problem is that in most cases wives have no idea what kind of jewels they have in their possession and usually take these men for granted. They donâ€™t do the things they used to do before they were married, they make no effort to keep the marital fire burning and most are no longer attractive to their husbands. I am just saying the truth.
I am reminded of one my favorite TV Series â€˜Being Mary Janeâ€™- where the main character â€˜Mary Jane Paulâ€™ played by Gabrielle Union finds herself in a tough spot when she falls desperately in love with Andre- a married man stuck in a loveless, sexless marriage. The plot thickens when Mary Jane approaches Andreâ€™s wife with the truth. As expected, the two women tussle over Andre, but Mary Jane, the mistress is not about to relent. She tells off the wife in the most profound manner.
â€œYou know Iâ€™ve found that being number two gives you all the glory of being at the top without all the pressures of the number one spot. See, the job of any great number two is to figure what the number one is missing, what they refused to see and what they are doing wrong. So, you know take your time, learn, be patient, get better. You will get to where youâ€™re supposed to be if you do the work. Because remember, if you donâ€™t somebody else willâ€
In many ways, I can relate to Mary Jane Paul. I have found myself at crossroads with many married men, most of whom treat me like a jewel. They are gentle, smooth and some are old-fashioned, which makes them hopelessly attractive. Because I was raised well, I have held back many times, I have declined several offers, castigated their advances and ignored their favors. But not anymore. It is time for single ladies to go for what they deserve, the number two spot.
As Mary Jane aptly puts it, being number two more or less places you at a vantage point, where you are able to study the number one and capitalize on her weaknesses. Make her weakest links your forte and her weaknesses your greatest strengths. The way I see it, there is nothing glamorous about being number one. I mean, being number one is too mainstream. I want to be the irresistible number two who outshines the number one tactfully and smartly without trying so hard.
The truth is, number ones these days have put their guard down. They are lazy and aloof. They think because they have rings on their fingers and babies to boot, that their work is done. They think that they have arrived, so they sit back, relax and wish life away. As a result, good men are going to waste, enduring slow, painful deaths in boring marriages and relationships. Their lives have been ridden off the excitement and adrenaline rush that made life what it is. The juice of their relationships has been sucked off by mundane routines that characterize their lives. Their love lives are on their beds if not already dead.
I think that is time for a revolution, and this revolution must and should be sparked by single women who are vying for the number two spot like me. It is time we figured out what these good men are missing and make it our business to challenge the number one. It is time for single ladies to put their best foot forward, bring on their A game and take what now legally and rightfully belongs to them.
Number ones who thought they had it all had better think again, because there is a breed of young, fresh number twos who will give you a run for your men.
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