By George Morara
When I was in the Seminary in Hungary, I met students from Ukraine. Most of them just as poor as I was. Unable to pay their way or even afford any luxury. If anyone asked if they needed anything, they always said, “I have EVERYTHING”! I couldn’t understand the boys because like me, they were basically eating soil… One thing they had more than anything and anyone else was dignity! LOTS OF it. And there I was wearing the African “poor” tag!
People sometimes present themselves as desperate so they can get some sympathy, empathy or whatever….Chances are, you are opening yourself and revealing your vulnerable spot to these kind of people:
1. Those who watch you make mistakes but say nothing. Then when something happens they are like: “I told you”, when they actually said nothing.
2. Those who watch you struggle with a situation when they know the solution but just watch you, sometimes pretending to be concerned and trying “their best” for you?
3. Those people who do something, but when you do it, they point fingers at you in horror!
4. people who when you are far and in a good position, invite you warmly and reassure you but when you are near and in deep shit and you reach out to them, they offer to call you back, and then suddenly they are nowhere to be found… They simply vanish, their phone line goes dead…..These are my favourite lol…normally they are like, “anytime!! Lol
5. Those who listen to you and share your story in a twisted version
6. People who give you a false sense of security. They assure you to make use of your little resources and waste your time only to realise they had no intention of helping… by which time you’ve lost time ad missed the objective.
7. Those who want you to beg and make them feel important.
The list can be very long….
Please do yourself a favour: Have some respect for yourself!
There are people you don’t ask for help from even if you are dying.
Even if you are at a dead end, on your knees. For them, it’s like having an orgasm seeing you in your most desperate situation.
Never let these kind of people know when you are needy, sad or vulnerable. It is ok to wear confidence when you have nothing to show. It is ok to come across as knowledageble, even if you aren’t but keep quiet about it… I always carry with me an aura of flamboyance …when I have nothing…been wearing the same shirt and pair of trousers for the last 300 years and a badly torn and mutilated underwear beneath. Nobody has to know that!
You see, sometimes we put ourselves in humilating situations for nothing looking at people for help. The people owe us nothing. Make good friends… there are plenty of those too…but it takes one to find one…but don’t be stupid to open yourself for exploitation. That’s what you get sometimes when you tell people you are needy…
Let this be my mantra:
“I will lift up mine eyes unto the hills, from whence cometh my help. My help cometh from the LORD, which made heaven and earth. He will not suffer thy foot to be moved: he that keepeth thee will not slumber!”