Photo: Deputy President William Ruto with son Nic, the two enjoy a good relationship and a time Nic is seen driving his father ofcourse after convincing the hawk eyed Presidential Guard that is part of the DP’s official government security.
How do you relate with your father?
On average, nearly half of the adults have broken relationship with their fathers. It varies from in form; from to total hatred, total contempt, indifference, and for some, he is as good as dead.
Classic 105 are talking about how fathers are neglected back in the village. Mothers are treated as queens and fathers are some petty and pesky bothers.
It is not uncommon back in the village for wives to abandon their aging husband to go America to spend with their children and the man is left to rue some of his poor choices from early in life.
In recent times, this topic draws a lot of contempt from women who say that such men deserve the treatment they get for being monsters when they were growing up. This for a man who probably toyed his entire life to ensure the children got the education they deserved, built a home for them and all.
Now, women, stop reading from here. I want to address men.
When I was younger, I didn’t understand why fathers did some of the things our fathers did. Now that I am older and having walked in some of their shoes, I know better. And I want to apologise for some of the darndest things I have ever said.
When you are young and you have never married, it is easy to believe everything your mother tells you. But when you will marry, you will know why your father did the things he had to do. You will not excuse them, or forgive him, but you will understand.
Now, listen, if you are young and unmarried, know this fact of life before you marry: A woman will ruthlessly take care of her own interest. RUTHLESS. Any choice she makes, any move she does, it has to align to her long term goals and with what she wants. In the past, such goal would have been a family and kids. That is no longer the case. Once you marry, always know the woman you are with is after her best interests.
And thus, as a man, always watch out for your own interest and one of your interests is how you want your old age to look like. Have some reserve wealth for yourself. Build a home you can retire to.
Have a stake in your children’s life. Don’t delegate everything. When paying school fees and such, ensure the kids see your direct participation. Some women are so evil, they can easily erase you or your efforts from the eyes of the children. Make sure the kids know what you are doing. It is not a competition, but sometimes, it is what it is.
Lastly, if you ever notice that your wife has some narcissistic tendencies or one who causes you pain, I tell you man to man, get a woman on the side. For the rainy days. Or just marry a second wife.
It is never worth it sticking in a monogamous relationship that will ruin your health in the long run. Both your wife and kids will put their interests first.
So must you.
By Silas Gisiora Nyanchwani