Ladies tusadiane hapa….when a man is high in a pub & he randomly walks to feed you sweets words until you choke with feelings, please don’t take the man serious, don’t even take his phone numbers. Instead, look at the bottle he is drinking, take the number of the manufacturer say EABL, call them & scorn them for making booze that overly turn men into instant seduction geniuses.
Research has proved that when ordinary male species become booze-war heroes, they get so cocky, fearless and ingenious that one man can seduce all women on Tom Mboya street then jump over to Moi avenue to unwantonly continue his crusade against the new terrorist killing ladies in town called loneliness.
If you grab a man’s phone in the morning after an evening drinking session, you will see fresh messages like “hi sweetie” ” hi love” “oh you are the best I ever met” etc. But unbeknown to you, the man can’t even place those ladies sending him messages. He probably launched his inescapable mind-blowing manifesto under the influence of liquor & can’t even recall what ensued.
In the year of the locust, there was a time I woke up to a bomb-like sound on my phone, I didn’t rush to the police or media like Kalonzo Musyoka, no, I probed the sound & discovered it was a thunderous text from lady saying “Hi darling, I miss you already..wow..you such a nice guy”. So I called to ask “Who are you”, she was so broken to tears to imagine all those sweet words were the wisdom of Guinness. If only she took the number of EABL, oh she could have been a happy soul.