By Onyango O Jnr
LADIES please COME!
The story of Ms Beatrice Koki(39) has really broken my heart.
Beatrice woke up last week on Wednesday her body burning like hellfire that awaits the Dusit terrorists. Her thighs were trembling like a chameleon crossing Thika Road at 6.00 am in the morning traffic.
Distraught, defeated and desperate she hatched a strategic plan; a very wicked plan to kidnap a landlord’s son(15). Initially, she called the well-mannered boy to her house. Boy-child grew cold feet. After a serious thought, she called the adamant boy to go buy a packet of milk, biscuits and something whose name sounds like name of a Bombay Redlight district. When the boy-child returned, the lady insisted that he comes in for a ‘thank you’. He was given a glass of water and immediately the boy went bananas.
Beatrice then pulled out her cloths at a breakneck speed, removed the boy’s cloths then jumped on his waist like Homabay economic gangsters jump on devolution funds. Waaah, she pounded and pounded and pounded the boy’s waist for 120 minutes. She over-fed the boy her bearded meat until the boy started speaking in tongues.
Lizards overheard her screaming a record 7 times but the neighbors could not hear because the music was on. On completion she dresssed up. The boy gained consciousness, rushed home and reported to his mum who instantly reported the 39 year old sex-starved maniac to the police.
Ms Koki was arrested, taken to court and currently enjoying free accommodation at Langata Women Coolers….But what would push a lady this far… Are there no men or ladies are getting too many… What exactly is the problem!!!!
Well, my buddy Silas says:
To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you’re getting this down.