Over the years, I’ve met first class friends up in here. Never met most, if not all face to face, but here’s my bucket list of the top ten friends I made on FB that I want to meet before I die (not in any particular order).
1. Kerubo Momanyi
Well, technically, we’ve met and crossed paths and she used to ignore me. Only until a mutual friend Tom Osanjo reminded her of the crazy meetings at Blue Flame in South B. A girl after my own heart, a diehard Arsenal fan. To be honest, I just want to listen to her drama like when she got locked in a house with a boy child because of rent arrears or when a prospective boyfriend unleashed a laptop with a master plan of their relationship; how often they would talk, how many times they would have sex, what milestones they needed to monitor, you know, the full relationship project management package. If you know KB, you’ll know what her response was.
2. Kipruto Kertiony
Wakili here is a strange one. An errant as they call themselves. Smart, perceptive, humourous and a no nonsense customer when it comes to his values and the issues that affect Kenya. If I was ever to run for President and make it, Kipruto would most definitely be in my inner circle. I particularly want to spend some time indulging in the Ruaraka waters so we can unpack this madness we call Kenya, but most of all, get to a place where we can work together to fix it.
3. Madina Shankaroon Kusow Chege
This one is a crazy one. I have a hell of a lot of time for her. Chic doesn’t take prisoners and I’m sure she’ll forgive me if I say she has brass balls. There’s not enough of her around. Politically savvy, professional as hell in her medical field and most definitely one of the people you can count on if you go to the trenches to fight for social justice and righteousness. I know a few people who have a crush on her, and why not. She’s as cool as a cat’s pyjamas.
4. Nyanyuki Dan Tito
This tea total SDA is a strange one. A student of literature and a stellar teacher and guardian to all our young ones. For some reason, he wants my dad to adopt him for a week. I keep telling him my dad is crazier than I am. A sharp, perceptive and humourous fella who is a very cheap round. I can buy him tea and boflo with blue band all night as we catch up on contemporary issues of our day.
5. Jay Okeyo-Neal Archibella
What do I say about this lady. Funny as hell, bold an forthright and never hesitates to say what she wants. Take the time she declared right here on FB that if she knew me earlier, she most definitely would have lost her virginity to me. If that wasn’t enough, she hijacked my post about some loser dissing his wife on FB and the only thing she read from that post was that I was single. I’m still trying to figure out her plot with her friend Sandlady as they try to coax me for a holiday in Mombasa. I’m thinking a holiday with them two girls is a project.
6. Mwalimu Mutemi Wa Kiama
The father of the #UshenziKE tag. A kindred spirit when it comes to political and development matters. Probably now branded as a traitor by Uthamakistan, but his heart is where we need it to be for Kenya. We have quite a few mutual friends not least the Ndavi twins, my partners in crime in high school. I have a feeling Mutemi and I can talk until the cows come home on issues related to Kenyan politics, UshenziKE and development matters. But I also believe this here dude can be one hell of a drinking buddy.
7. Wanja Wa Njuguna
This CNN award winning journalist and university lecturer keeps reminding me that I’m as good as the best when it comes to quality in analysis, commentary, and even creative writing. She’s one of my editors by the way and a veteran of the kenyan media establishment. If you haven’t read it yet, you should get a hold of her first class journalistic perspectives of the Saba Saba events of 1990 in Kamkunji. Over the years in FB, we’ve become really good friends sharing perspectives and advice on work, family and the day to day issues of life. She never likes when I post my recipes and meals that I cook, especially when it reminds her of her work schedule and the fact she doesn’t have time to indulge in the small flavours of life.
8. Ted Malanda
What can you say about this crazy Shemeji. He and i seem to have been cut from the same cloth. I was so bemused the first time I talked to him on phone. All formal and in “editor” mode and I’m thinking, Jamaneni. His excuse was that it was because of his 8 years in the civil service. When I’m next in Kenya, I’m looking forward to the double Johnny Walkers we will have as we get to know each other. Occasionally, he commissions me to write articles for the Nairobian or the Standard, but I’m looking forward to working with him on more substantive projects that we have spoken about.
9. Esther Gakenia
This young lady is intriguing. We both have a passion for music and she totally believes that my life is so crazy, she must have missed out on her whole youth experience. Just the other day, she was actually shopping and sight seeing 12 minutes away from my neighbourhood in Central London. Timing wasn’t right, but I’m sure we’ll make it up. She has a job right now though, to put some hair on her chest (not literally of course) and do the unthinkable that I’ve challenged her to do. She actually now believes me and her friend Salome have been plotting against her, but why lie, I’m definitely buying Salome a drink when we meet, for the simple reason that she understands why this girl has to put that hair on her chest.
10. MiMi Nyinaa WanjikùnaCurtis NaCarson
Now this one, I can’t even tell you how we connected. A great friend, a good listener, and one of the few people who went out of her way to find out about this fella called Odumbe. I’m still convinced she doesn’t believe I’m blind and waiting to see me in the flesh to confirm. Like me, she does actually have a twisted mind, but of course she’ll deny it and I won’t push it. I have a feeling I can sit down with this girl all night talking about anything under the sun.
And by the way, if I’ve left your name out, it’s not that I’m not thinking about you. Believe me, I know I have a date in Nanyuki with some serious pork chops and managu – but then again, the lady taking me on that date is not a stranger.
Personally, I blame Jay Okeyo-Neal Archibella for starting that post where watu waliji tokelezea.e