By Kevin Omwanza
Dear Njoki Chege,
You insolent, distraught, bitter, and vengeful woman, I demand you listen to me for I am doing your dear mother’s work: I’ll teach you some manners. I’ll teach you some social truths. I’ll teach you many things, therefore, I ask you to find a comfortable place, sit, and read carefully what I am writing to you. Meditate upon it. Internalize it. Embrace it- because your life depends on it!
Education and experience have taught me to be wary of bitter, distraught women whose favorite sport is doling out insults, taunting others, and gossiping endlessly. These women are miserable, frustrated and idle.
Barely a week passes by before you lash at some person who has everything going on well for them. The highlights of your unending tirade include your vilification of plus size women, bloggers, Subaru owners, and so forth. However, your recent tirade against a harmless individual –Donald Kipkorir- who always minds his business, went overboard.
Dear spiteful woman, Donald Kipkorir is not and can never be your equal- even in a thousand years.
The distinction between you and Donald Kipkorir is obvious. He is a successful attorney, philanthropic, lover of life, rich and well-connected individual who has everything going well for him. And he is not shy to flaunt his successes- which is very okay, save to mediocre, envious and backward nitwits like you. On the other hand, you are struggling to meet your rental obligations at a low-level estate along Thika Road where you part with a little over 20k each month as rent.
Whereas Donald has made a career as an attorney defending people (and their careers) as well as assisting key institutions in this republic, you have built a career around destroying reputations and bashing individuals who have everything going well for them. That, in fact, qualifies you as a party pooper, nay, a witch! Yes, a damn witch!
Look, there isn’t much of a difference between a narcissistic individual whose stock-in-trade is pillorying and destroying others, and a witch who uses her magic to harm others. Aristotle once aptly remarked that he is a stupid person he who does harm to others without benefitting thereof….
But I wouldn’t say that you do not benefit from your bashing of others. People like you derive gratification from humiliating and punishing others. In other words, you are a sadist.
Oh you are about to give me that tired cliché that yours is a job, and you got to pen something heavy and potent to drive up the volume of sales. Nonsense! If you make a career from destroying other people, then you are a murderer.
In your empty grandstanding, you say that real wealth doesn’t announce itself on social media. But you Njoki Chege, a resident at Garden Estate along Thika Road, and a frequent user of public means of transport, who can easily be mistaken for a bimbo from Sabina Joy, does not know, let alone understand, the life of the wealthy.
You’ve never been rich to know the manners of rich men and women! Have you ever seen a monkey teach a fish how to swim? Or a fish teach a monkey how to jump from tree to tree? Look, I don’t expect you to teach rich men how to conduct themselves the same way I don’t expect rich men like Donald to teach you how to conduct yourself as a poor, underpaid journalist at Nation Media.
You take issue with Donald Kipkorir flaunting his high-end machines on social media. You are terribly irked that he made sure everybody knew his limited edition HSE Range Rover, with his name as the registration number, is on the way. You are annoyed that the man flies out of the country with his groupies to various destinations in the world. How it irks you that ladies, hundred times prettier and successful than you are, are outdoing each other trying to be in the good books of the aristocrat.
Look here, young ignorant woman, being proud of God’s providence never hurt a fly. What hurts and harms and annoys and confuses is that there is a clown who makes a living through castigating others. Allow me to ask: do you feel fulfilled in your job? Is your job satisfying? How do you feel when you besmirch people’s reputations? How do you feel after ripping other people apart? Is it a good feeling?
In your naivety, you fail to realize that people wouldn’t strive so hard to succeed if they were not allowed to be proud of their successes. Your ilk will always remain poor.
The purpose of motor companies manufacturing limited edition machines is so that their owners can feel special. But I know that does not wash with your two-byte brain.
To some, parading their successes is what makes us happy. To you, bashing and debasing other people is what makes you happy! And sometimes it is not so much about what we have achieved, but about who has made us achieve it. It is a testimony.
When I see DBK’s successes, I am inspired, and I work harder as a young lawyer to attain the same level of success as DBK. His story gives me the oomph to achieve. It is testament to the fact that rags to riches is not just a fairy tale, but a possibility.
How an underpaid hireling purports to police what people can and can’t post defeats me.
Young lady, you are lightyears behind where most of those you insult are. You need to go back to the drawing board, strategize anew, and come up with a way to catch up with the rest of your peers.
And probably you should ask yourself: how does your periodic tirade help in building the nation?
When there are so many important things to talk about- things like the IEBC Campaign Finances Quotas, Rio Olympics, Doping, Climate Change and Global Warming, Cancer, how Donald Trump survives without a brain and why Tahidi High School has not been razed down by students- you cannot afford to tell us unimportant things such as how Kipkorir pees.