Memo No. 16 From The National Desk of the Welfare of Men.
Save, Invest and Audit Your Wife.
Every so often, news of a former sports star, politician, or musician, languishing in poverty surfaces. Mostly they are men, either hit by a debilitating disease or poverty and it is always a pity. We always pass judgement, quickly raise and send money their way, before we quickly forget until the next one.
Beyond the celebrities and big men, we all have a friend or relative who once had money, but now is too broke. Everyone, even the wife and the friends he had good times with have abandoned him.
Sometimes when we make money as men, we forget how fickle life is. We forget how ephemeral some of the things we pursue are. When we get money as men, we have this illusion that it will last forever. We assume that we got the money because we are smart and we will keep making more.
I have news for you.
Unless you come from old money, where assets are strewn all over and you are guaranteed a good portion of your estate and hoping drugs won’t take you down, you should be cautious. Always spend any cash you have like it is the last one.
I have been around the last 20 years and I have seen how the country has oscillated between moments of prosperity to the worst recession recently, made worse by Covid-19 pandemic.
During Kibaki era, there are folks who made quick money from sectors such as higher education, media, real estate, politics. Under Kibaki, people started to get the notion that they were great traders. An illusion that Jubilee government has shattered properly. They underestimated how Kibakinomics lifted them and how lucky they were. Secondly, when we implemented Devolution, some guys hit pay dirt, and assumed that money will always flow. Instead of investing, they bought toys and put on a lifestyle encouraged by their wives and girlfriends.
Some men, especially artists and sportsmen, had great moments but failed to invest for the long haul. Some produced a song or two, rode the wave and failed to work harder and stay in the industry or market for long.
We also know folks who get a good job or a salary hike and the next day they have moved to Kileleshwa or Westlands. We have friends who live in Kileleshwa, paying Sh 80,000 on a Sh 200,000 salary and kids go to schools that teach IGCSE or any fancy system. If fired today, they can’t pay rent the next month.
Men make money and blow it in night clubs, totally oblivious how money works. We have men paying rent for their clandes simply because they earn Sh 350,000.
Listen bro. In a plantation like Kenya, we all have like two or three chances to make major cash deals. And if you fail to maximize on the deals, one goes down pretty fast and rarely makes it back. Because life rolls on, man.
This society is a grave yard of men who once made great good cash but didn’t invest assuming they will always be talented, popular, on-demand until they were not.
No one makes constantly good money for 20-30 years. We mostly make small monies, then 3 or 4 times in our productive life, we land a great deal, an inheritance, a good referral that brings major cash infusion. That cash is for investing, not moving from Donholm to Kilimani.
Lastly, is for men who invest in their wives. Not a bad thing, but have you ever audited your wife? I am not saying that you audit her money. You try and understand her psychology. Like do you know how she will treat you if you went broke today? Will she still stick around.
Nearly half the men will lose their wives the day their income tanks. Forget the women who will justify their inhumanity with statements like, ‘pesa yake alikula na malaya’. There are men who genuinely deserve whatever fate that befalls them once they go broke. And to the women who stick around God bless and you don’t have to defend yourselves in the comments. But I know far too many innocent men who trusted their wives too much and now are crying premium tears with a lot of resentment. Your average woman in Nairobi is merciless bro. This you can trust me. I talk to men daily.
There is a horrible breed of women who put men through a ringer and make men lead expensive and unsustainable lifestyles. And some men are weak enough can’t go against the wishes of their wives. What such men forget is that it is their income that supports the lavish lifestyle. The woman is secretly saving her cash and probably has a sponsor. Lose your job and she kicks you out.
The number of men in their late 30s and early 40s, who once led a good life but have since been divorced and kicked out and are now broke is growing concern.
This is a call for men to audit their wives. Does she have your back, ama is she around for the good times? If educated and has her money, probably she is in for a good time and can rationalise kicking your ass out at the drop of a hat. Forget your good intentions bro.
Also, some women are secretly very competitive in marriage whereby you will never see her cash. I have no problem with that, but bro, make sure you are not being used as a stepping stone. You will spend the most productive years of your life enabling a lavish lifestyle, and you will be abandoned when you have no energy or resources.
Also, there are women who sabotage their men. As in wives who plan the downfall of their men. And they will malisa you kabisa, in the name of revenge for a slight misdemeanor.
So, today, as a man, I want you to have a meeting with yourself and ask yourself the tough questions about your partner.
For men my generation, it is safe to live as if you will be single in your 40s and 50s. This is a subject for a future memo as I have to stop here.