Another Amazing Letter To Kanze Dena From the Banana Peddler
By Comrade Alberto Nyakundi Bin Amenya Banana Peddler, the County of Kisii
Cherished beautiful Kanze,
I wish to take this nonpareil opportunity to trust that you are as beautiful and angelic as usual. Cutie, I presume the initial letter (read it HERE) that I chronicled got stuck on the way and did not reach your expressive eyes probably due to earthly inequities from other window-shoppers jealous of my courage to lay my plea. That is why I have resolved to pen this one so as to jumpstart the previous one in case it is still tottering on the way.
Gorgeous Kanze, let me be the one to bury the shackles of perpetual loneliness and spinsterhood in you. My enemies may deceive you that I am an economic prisoner chained on economic depravity. Please ignore them and always take heed on Napoleon Bonaparteâ€™s warning, â€œNever interrupt your enemy when he is making a mistakeâ€ â€“may they continue basking in the euphoria of mistakes.
Sincerely speaking, I would deceive you if I told you there is a tree in my fatherâ€™s compound that grows money in form of either Ksh or US Dollar notes or even the heavy weight Sterling pounds. Nonetheless, be assured that no amount of money can afford to buy my love for you. Beware of those whoâ€™ll come to you with jumbo monies and carefully chiseled stories. My dearest, always remember Honore De Balzacâ€™s substantive word of caution, â€œBehind every great fortune, there is a great crimeâ€ Kindly borrow leaf from the exemplary determination of our DP Ruto who was once a Chicken Peddler and is now high and mighty.
Be aware of those holier-than-thou loafers who will gossip to you that I am unlettered (Uneducated) and that I am just an underprivileged and resourceless Banana Peddler from the bowels of lack. True, I meekly concede that I was lucky to get only a sincere though unattractive Certificates . But sweetheart, most of them are academic pirates who either pilfered or bought credentials in the open market. Iâ€™d better remain a humble Banana Peddler rather than being an academic masquerade of sorts.
Oh! Babe kindly pardon my manners, before I forget, I again saw your curvaceous self anchoring news on TV this weekend. Without a doubt, the more I looked into your innocent eyes, the more my heart melted, and the more I fell in love again, and again, and again. Remarkably, when I watched you do what you do best, I realized that your eyes are like a camera because the more I look into them, the more I smile. Kindly tell me, how do you manage to look beautiful all the time?
Beloved, you look so cute when you laugh on TV. I like the way the wise lady Bi Msafwari comes to my defense every time she proffers you with paramount gems of advice. When ending news, the way you look every time you say goodbye makes it so weak on my knees.
Baby girl, I am not ashamed to climb the highest mountain and shout to the world that, â€œKANZE IS MINE AND ALL RIGHTS ARE RESERVEDâ€ As you read news I repeatedly find myself getting lost into your expressive eyes. Sincerely, no amounts of paragraphs are enough to expound the God-given pulchritude (beauty) in you Kanze.
My beloved sweetheart Kanze, always remember that your beautiful smile evicts unhappiness in my heart and replaces it with profound joy. Loving you is like breathing, I cannot stop it because it is absolutely necessary for my survival. I believe you are my perfect soul mate, the only one who can bring the very best out of me.
I may a simple Banana costermonger but if you allow me to be there for you, Iâ€™ll hold your tender hand all the time as I shield you from any trouble makers. I wish to wake up and start my day with you in my mind and end it with you in my dreams.
I am sure when we meet we will hold hands, our hearts will join, our lips will meet and our souls will unite everlastingly. My life without you is like a sentence without spaces, Manchester United without Sir Alex Ferguson, shoes without laces and Julius Yego without his javelin. I am convinced that you are truly religious because you are the answer to my prayers.
My one and only, albeit I am not an organ donor, I cannot help but donate my heart to you. They say that love hurts but I am ready to take the perilous decision of being with you and having you as my girl will be my greatest honor. Hearing your voice every day will make my life more meaningful and equally beautiful.
Long story short, my queen, I know you are valiant enough to display your rich pedigree and royal courage as we look forward to our union. I trust you are too wise to be beguiled. I believe you are too optimistic to be fearful. I am sure you are too determined to be defeated by haters. I countenance that you are too positive to be doubtful. I know you are strong enough to show resistance to haters and I promise you that later youâ€™ll never regret. For haters, let us raise a bar against them with our love. Let us go in the annals of world history as the loveliest couple that ever lived.
Comrade Alberto Nyakundi Bin Amenya â€“ Banana Peddler, the County of Kisii