By Master Taibiru
HOW TO BEHAVE WHEN GIVEN A LIFT FROM SHAGS.
1. keep time
2. Don’t put your arms out of the window like a boss
3. If he (the car owner) is travelling with his family, take a back seat. Don’t jostle for the front seat with the wife.
4. Don’t turn yourself into a DJ: if he has tuned to Mayienga FM don’t switch to Classic FM
5. Ask before you roll the window down; A/C, etc=may be faulty
6. If you notice the car owner is travelling with a woman other than the wife you know, use your head. And don’t start a conversation about the wife. It might well be that the car owner told the young lady he is single and innocent (should be ‘available’).
7. Avoid stupid questions like “how much does a car like this one cost?”
8. Don’t turn the car into a pick-up, so that you go buying charcoal, potatoes, boiled bananas, etc along the road. Did you hire the car?
9. Note all hitch-hikers journeys end at Ambassadeur Hotel. Alight.
10. Carry appropriate items. Don’t carry chicken, duck, puppy, chang’aa, etc, lest you leave your clansman’s car dirty.
11. Before you hitch a lift, ensure you bathe,brush your teeth and don’t eat a cocktail of all manner of foods e.g a mixed meal of mbuta and matumbo means you’ll be belching in your clansman’s car throughout the journey.
12. Don’t rear a snake in your pocket (meaning don’t be too stingy or fear digging deep into your pocket). Even if you are broke, you can at least buy roast maize in Mwea/Ntulele/Isinya/Hunters/Oyugis/Ikonge/Ravin/ Delamre etc for others in the car to chew😅😅😅😅😅😅 â€ª#â€ŽCopiedâ€¬