By Albert Nyakundi Amenya
Yesterday I laughed, laughed and laughed until I died and resurrected. I was standing by the roadside when this Matatu came and dropped a cute lady with a big bag and sack full of goodies.
According to my observation, the lady with a Mohican cut had just arrived from celebrating Christmas holiday in upcountry and the luggage was too much for her to carry by herself.
The spectacled damsel was looking for those muscular boys to help her carry the sack because it was the excess one to her strength. Luckily, one of those comrades who can eat a giant goat alone was passing by and the lady espied him.
By default, I was near them and I could clearly hear them converse. The comrade was asking the spinster to give him 50 bob for the job but the cutie wanted to give 20bob based on the short distance from the road to the destination.
After the bargaining diplomacy failed to materialize, the comrade stood aside and waited for our sophisticated young piece (woman) to change her mind. After approximately 45 seconds, a goddamn giant well fed dog emerged from nowhere and headed straight to the ladyâ€™s sack. My goodness, what followed is unexplainable.
Ashakum si matusi but the fuckin beast ensured that the sack was proportionally underneath him paused for a second, lifted his strong leg up just like a man boarding a BodaBoda, directed â€˜itâ€™ to the sack and pissed heavily. Wololo!
It released the stinkiest liquid in the history of stinking. My goodness by refusing to give 50bob and kvetching, the damfool didnâ€™t know she was jumping from a frying pan into fierce fire.
No sooner had the dog left, than I saw the retired comrade smiling to an imaginary bank while nodding in approval as he trudged away. All this while, I was laughing uncontrollably. The lady tried to call back the gentleman but the gentleman was speaking another language.
The last word I heard him say was, â€œIâ€™ll come back unless it is 300 bob na ujue hii area iko mikora wengi kwa hivyo ufanye haraka kabla hawajakuibiaâ€ Lol! She had no option but to pay. The dog was a perfect blessing in disguise for the honourable carrier.