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Banana Peddler: Kisii ladies pretend to forget Ekegusii & FAKE accent when they get to town

Banana Peddler: Kisii ladies pretend to forget Ekegusii & FAKE accent when they get to town

April 11, 2016 Leave a Comment

By Banana Peddler

Sometimes I take a walk around Nairobi but rarely come across beautiful Kisii girls. The only beautiful people I meet are the yellow yellow queens from Mt. Kenya and these other short and brown ones from Ukambani.

However, sometimes the Ukambani ones are deceptive because they hide years in their un-ageing tiny figures. You can meet a 47 years Mwende and think she is 19 years.

That one aside, where is these beautiful girls from my motherland if at all they exist? Do they stay indoors, the more reason why they miss the Bob Collymores of this world as their Kikuyu counterparts grab them like the world is ending tomorrow?

Ironically, if by God’s grace you happen to come across one, she will never let you know she is Kisii. Instead, she’ll struggle with her little Swahili and English.

Surely, babes ladies, is it crime for you to speak Ekegusii hapa town? Are you trying to show us that you are the best Swahili and English speaker yet you just came from the village the other day?

Above all, one thing I thank God for is that no matter how painstaking you try to fake that accent, Ekegusii evidently manifests from the background. Tiga obochinga mobwate ebisagane ebi. Yaani bono inwe mokeroche moono kobua babo Kenyambi simbiri aba bakonakonoga ekiabo nagotobekera emechere amaru ime batarigosoka?

Tiga obochinga mobwate ebisagane ebi. Yaani bono inwe mokeroche moono kobua babo Kenyambi simbiri aba bakonakonoga ekiabo nagotobekera emechere amaru ime batarigosoka?

Obonyonga obuo bobang’ainete amo nebimbere ebio, ao rende ntorore kaa ase mogokorera.

Tokwanere Ekegusii masombe ekero twomeranire. Omabiii, ochaga eyachire ebaombogani amachara aya. Chafu nadingi.

 

Filed Under: Lifestyle & entertainment

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