News reaching my DESK from Kibingoti village, Ndia Constituency, Kirinyaga County. A lady kills her husband after 217 days of acute dry spell. She had tried frantically to serve him a hot plate of her gigantic bean, but every time she made effort; the man always developed a chronic stomachache, toothache, leg ache, backache, eye ache, nose ache, ear ache and even worse, nausea .
Every morning, the man would leave home when his wife is a sleep at 4.30 am to avoid that devil’s breakfast women love called morning glory. But the clever man would sneak back at 11.00pm to avoid viewing the wife’s lunar eclipse despite her frantic desire to swallow the live leg.
On Sunday after thorough consultations, the lady came home chanting liberation song “get up standup” of Bob Marley and “that day will come” by Capleton. Poor man got home at 8.00pm. The wife told him “its now or never”, as usual the man started his tricks and the woman demanded to be serviced NOW! NOW !
She quickly deleted her cloths, but the reluctant husband retired to his tricks. Its then that the lady jumped commando style under the bed, removed a weapon of mass destruction and sent the man straight to his maker. Lady was arrested and the body taken to Karatina Hospital Mortuary. Ladies please, no matter the dry spell, God’s time is the best.
End of NEWS.